Wednesday night I went for a walk down to the River by the movie theatre. Often I have to go for walks because they are just that good. Quite necessary for a Cali Kid that's so use to being outside more than he is inside. Boy I tell ya this Chicago weather doesn't know what it wants to do. Today is May twentieth and we're just now finally getting sunlight that has been here since the morning; and will hopefully last throughout the day.
SO what was I saying? Oh yes that's it, Wednesday night...
The river walk closes at 11PM so I am usually leaving there before that time comes. The bench I regularly sit at was taken, not that I'm afraid of strangers or anything because i have no problem sitting next to anybody. Yet this night was not a sitting matter, there was a homeless man stretched out sleeping. So, with an understanding and respect for such a humbling lifestyle I relocated for the amount of time I was there.
(In my mind I go through cycles)
I am always confronted with the desire to to want to help even when I can't or do not have the means. This desire often conflicts with the conviction I receive through the Holy Spirit to those God directly prompts me to bless and those whom I am to not. I AM NO JUDGE! I see people daily here in Chicago on the streets looking tired, hungry, beat-up(literally swollen face and hands), and sick(sores, blisters and mental diseases). And I don't always understand why it is that at times the Lord would have me give to someone who I know will spend it on alcohol or drugs and sometime not to the hungry person who looks sincere to the need. ONLY GOD KNOWS HEARTS. The only answer I have for myself is that God said "him there/her there/that family", that I give for feed. Sometimes it is not about what someone will do with what you give them, but rather that you be God's instrument of loving that one person who may not have been loved that day in any small way without hypocrisy. A simple measure of obedience (that is partnered with discernment) even when you do not agree or understand. And every time I see people struggle, this is the battle I go through as I wait for the confirmation of God's prompting...."How much more do you think my heart aches for those I love and know personally" (And I would reflect on God's Word and how Christ Jesus so cares).
So after much thinking on life, home, where I at and all the anxieties that come with. I began to walk back to my dorm planning to go to bed. As I crossed Chicago on LaSalle I heard someone calling my name "Yo D-Roc!" When I looked up it was my boy Bryce. "What you up to!?" he said "nuthin what up!?" I say. "Wanna roll?"......"YEP!" and I ran into the street and jumped in the car....Oh, crazy? Not Quite, he was at a red light hahaha.
He had two friends with him and when I asked what was up he said they were looking for homeless people, "seen any?"...."uh, yea, there all over the place."
Now that may sound insincere to you, but it's not, I promise. Bryce told me that they had bags of food they have been trying to give out for the last half hour at least. We went by the park, no body. We drove through the city a bit, no one. Then we had seen a man with a sign in front of Walgreen's on Clark Street, amen! So we gave him a bag. Next we figured we go to a common local spot where most of the homeless in the city have made a home. Namely, Wacker Drive.
Out on Wacker drvie it was unusual to not see peoples everywhere, maybe the city has been cracking down a bit harder. They have been doing more construction around that area. After a bit of driving and searching we saw a man walking. So we blessed him with a few bags. When we asked him if there were more people down the road he told us where to find them. So we found them and gave to them also. Again we asked if where there were more peoples that we could give to and how to get there from the spot we were in. They told us, so we went. To this end we only had three bags left, and there were five peoples. WE gave to to a couple and the other couple shared. One man seen us but instead of coming toward us to get a bag, he began to walk in the other direction. We talked with one of the couples for a quick minute and shared a few laughs as I think they more so lifted our spirits although I would argue that case often. So as we left, the man who did not receive a bag walked in front of us. I told the other guys I felt bad about not having anything left and if I should give him a few dollars. B told me that was my choice. So I said a quick prayer t determine and the Lord gave me peace to do so. Once we caught up to the man he was fine and nonchalant about not getting a bag. But the I handed him a few dollars, the whole night got flipped upside down. This man, homeless, teeth in the front missing said a humbling thing. "See how God works. When I praised this God took it from me, but when I let go of it, He blesses me with it." After this he began to minister to us. He put down some sound knowledge. I think one would have to be a fool not to listen to the homeless man that has something to tell young men. He shared his story and how he got to where he is at, how he used to think and the fact that his daughter is older than us (which we all laughed about). He said "this generation is dying off, and now you young guys have to be the light. God is going to test you, that's a guarantee, but you stick together and keep shining the light, even though you have sin." So as we walked back to the car and talked, when we stopped to get in he kept going, telling us where he was going and that he would use that money for food. He thanked us and thanked God and encouraged us to keep being spiritual disciples." The man knew the Word, and gave it as it is. That there just made my night...
From there Bryce dropped me back off at campus. When I got upstairs and checked the clock it was nearly 12am... And I laid down with joy, thanking God and also praying for family, friends, school and Church. Yet, for some reason unknown to me still, I could not fall asleep. I lay awake uneasy for two hours tossing and turning and asking God "what's going on here? I'm listening, talk to me." But I was not listening and I did not want to hear anything. Eventually I fell out. And at 3AM I was back up again. I had to be up at 630AM to get to work by 7AM. It only took maybe 30 minutes to fall asleep this time. And I made it through yesterday alright. What I kept wondering is: "How has such a blessed day kept me restless all night?" but maybe I'm just asking the wrong question. Ya think?
Friday, May 20, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The Weekend Home pt.2
So the festives came....
I had a great time with family, I always wish that I could have all my brothers and sisters in the same place at one time. Any time with any of then is when I'm happiest though.
At the house that afternoon we sat around and talked and just marveled at each other. My mom and grandma because I was home, me to my older brother who I had not seen in about two years, my little sister who grew taller and was missing some teeth and an older sister that is now engaged. And my father who I have been continually growing with love and respect for in my own sight and ways. YES! we all marveled.
We played the Wii. Bowling was a little rusty but if I had just one more day I would have stolen some records. Just like I did at Michael Jackson...If you have not played that game yet, go and buy it. First day back and I was stealing records. My fam couldn't believe it, but they all knew it would happen. As the evening grew we decided that we would order the fight. Pachiou(spelled that wrong) vs. Mosley baby; mom told me I could invite some friends over, so I did.
I had a great time with family, I always wish that I could have all my brothers and sisters in the same place at one time. Any time with any of then is when I'm happiest though.
At the house that afternoon we sat around and talked and just marveled at each other. My mom and grandma because I was home, me to my older brother who I had not seen in about two years, my little sister who grew taller and was missing some teeth and an older sister that is now engaged. And my father who I have been continually growing with love and respect for in my own sight and ways. YES! we all marveled.
We played the Wii. Bowling was a little rusty but if I had just one more day I would have stolen some records. Just like I did at Michael Jackson...If you have not played that game yet, go and buy it. First day back and I was stealing records. My fam couldn't believe it, but they all knew it would happen. As the evening grew we decided that we would order the fight. Pachiou(spelled that wrong) vs. Mosley baby; mom told me I could invite some friends over, so I did.
Now the fight was disappointing. But we all had a good time.
The next day I went with my mom to Church and it was so good! and we will talk about that soon. Afterward the family went out to eat (I mean, it was a holiday) Ocho de Mayo! Mothers Day and My Birthday! It really cant get any better than that. Just for the record though: Sizzler done came up yall!
We made it back to the house and my dad, my brother and I played some Wii bowling, to which I lost. And they were complaining about not hitting all strikes! Looks to me like somebody been practicing some ay(raised eyebrows look).
So I was suppose to fly back here to Chicago that evening so my best friend Ryan came to take me to the airport. But we booked my flight for the wrong day (:-o).....YES!!!HAHAAH.....one more day...I was kind of happy; no, I'd be lying. It was great. The only problem was that finals week began the next day and I needed to be in the Library so I could finish a paper. Anyway.
I went to Ryan's house and seen his family and had dinner with them and mama Ann. It was a good time to see them all again. After coming home I began on my paper while my brother laid next to me on the couch watching TV, until we both eventually fell asleep.
I rose early to get going again on my paper, and me and my brother just spent the day in that living room happy to see each other and be in the presence of one another again. I said bye to my little sister that morning before she went to school and gave her a kiss and I Love Yous. then to mama later that afternoon after getting a mothers kiss.
Eventually to dad right before I left. Then it was me, my brother and my two best friends Ryan and Chad next to me as I was about to head to the airport. Ryan drove, Brian rode and I was thinking the whole way to the airport. As I parted ways I hugged a best friend and a brother. Now I'm back two weeks later working and doing ministry. So until August fam....Let's keep living!
(if you want to see the mother's day tea surprise when my mom first seen me follow the shortcut below)
I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
Time with the guys!
Here a few pictures from the All-Star game weekend we had with some of our guys from C.R.I.B.S.
Friday, May 13, 2011
The Weekend Home (Surprise!) pt 1
Let me tell you just a little bit about my surprise appearance home for mothers day weekend.
Every four years or so my birthday and mothers day fall on the same date, its like having a new holiday...we'll call it Ocho de Mayo! Yea! that sounds good to me too. So here it is.
Me and my sister decided that I would come home to surprise my mother in February. Only a handful of people knew because they needed to. My sister, brother, two best friends, pastor and director of women's ministry. Originally I wanted to bring a special message for my Cali Mountain View's annual Mother's Day luncheon & tea. My pastor said it would be OK as long as I got everything straight square with who was in charge. So I did, but instead of bringing a formal message, I was allowed to do a special tribute through poem for my mom and the other mothers present.
Now, I have not been home since summer of 2010 which would make this the longest I've been away from home thus far. I knew my mom wanted me to be home for this particular weekend if it were at all possible. Which my sister and I played perfectly that it would not be. You see, school finals started the following week and I had to let my mother know that studying was of the most importance. That along with working and getting ready to move out of the dorms you know (the end of the semester brings chaos). Anyway, my sister Unique, brother Brian and even my Dad(my Sr.) played the surprise really well. How'd it go right? I know you are itching to know.
I flew in Friday evening and my sister snatched me from the airport with all joy and excitement. It was a great moment to see her face. She took me to one of my best friends house (Chad) and then parted until the luncheon. Me and my boy caught up some, we watched the Lakers give a game away disappointingly, I kissed my godson hos older brother and my boy's fiance. We played NBA 2k10 because I owed him a whoopin 2 outta 3 that night. The next morning he paid me back in racquet ball by beating me 3 games by 2 points...(I'll be back CJ don't even trip). After he swung me to the barber and i got hooked up rt before he dropped me at the church.
I hadn't been to the new Church campus yet since they have moved while I've been away here at school so I wanted to make sure I didn't run into my mother. I was met by Lady Glencamp and she took me to where I needed to be. I waited until I got the cue, had to make sure my mic was working alright also. Behind closed doors I began the poem, about five lines through I opened the doors and began walking towards the front. She and my grandma thought my voice was a recording and hadn't noticed that I was there until I was standing on the stage.
"AAAaaaaaHHHhhhhh!!!"....yep...that's what mama did.... and from there the weekend was set. I finished the poem. We stayed until the end of the luncheon and took family picture afterwards. Then came the festives....TBC
Every four years or so my birthday and mothers day fall on the same date, its like having a new holiday...we'll call it Ocho de Mayo! Yea! that sounds good to me too. So here it is.
Me and my sister decided that I would come home to surprise my mother in February. Only a handful of people knew because they needed to. My sister, brother, two best friends, pastor and director of women's ministry. Originally I wanted to bring a special message for my Cali Mountain View's annual Mother's Day luncheon & tea. My pastor said it would be OK as long as I got everything straight square with who was in charge. So I did, but instead of bringing a formal message, I was allowed to do a special tribute through poem for my mom and the other mothers present.
Now, I have not been home since summer of 2010 which would make this the longest I've been away from home thus far. I knew my mom wanted me to be home for this particular weekend if it were at all possible. Which my sister and I played perfectly that it would not be. You see, school finals started the following week and I had to let my mother know that studying was of the most importance. That along with working and getting ready to move out of the dorms you know (the end of the semester brings chaos). Anyway, my sister Unique, brother Brian and even my Dad(my Sr.) played the surprise really well. How'd it go right? I know you are itching to know.
I flew in Friday evening and my sister snatched me from the airport with all joy and excitement. It was a great moment to see her face. She took me to one of my best friends house (Chad) and then parted until the luncheon. Me and my boy caught up some, we watched the Lakers give a game away disappointingly, I kissed my godson hos older brother and my boy's fiance. We played NBA 2k10 because I owed him a whoopin 2 outta 3 that night. The next morning he paid me back in racquet ball by beating me 3 games by 2 points...(I'll be back CJ don't even trip). After he swung me to the barber and i got hooked up rt before he dropped me at the church.
I hadn't been to the new Church campus yet since they have moved while I've been away here at school so I wanted to make sure I didn't run into my mother. I was met by Lady Glencamp and she took me to where I needed to be. I waited until I got the cue, had to make sure my mic was working alright also. Behind closed doors I began the poem, about five lines through I opened the doors and began walking towards the front. She and my grandma thought my voice was a recording and hadn't noticed that I was there until I was standing on the stage.
"AAAaaaaaHHHhhhhh!!!"....yep...that's what mama did.... and from there the weekend was set. I finished the poem. We stayed until the end of the luncheon and took family picture afterwards. Then came the festives....TBC
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
...and God's workin ova there
Two Saturdays ago another great day took place. Me, Korey, and Ben went to an all-star high school basketball game between the west and the south side prep school here in Chicago. The game was at DePaul University just a few stops from my school. The best things was that our young guys came with us. On Thursday nights me Korey and Frank do ministry on the West Side of Garfield Park called C.R.I.B.S. so it was great to have them with us...let me fill you in just a little.
On Thursdays usually my partners and I show up at the Church (Reborn Community Church, Pulaski&Wilcox) between 6-630pm. Sometimes our high schoolers are already there but sometimes just at the park up the street or on the way. We mostly spend these evenings hanging out at the Church, nothing too formal, not even our Bible lessons. We eat, play cards, talk, or whatever there is to do(as long as were spending some real time together). Foosball, four square, dodge ball, round robin(ping pong game), basketball, ANYTHING! Our goal is always to Love God and Love others and the preach the Gospel. We want to be primarily relational, we DO NOT want to just start another program. So after this 1 1/2 - 2 hours down time, we get to a short lesson usually no longer than 20mins. So there's your preview of how Thursdays go. Now Saturday.
I started that morning meeting with Jamie(the pastor) and we just prayed for some time, then we talked for a little while. I appreciate that we can do that too(were a pretty small Church). I think the high school guys were suppose to be there around 11am but it was almost 1230 before they came...can you say CPT? anybody? hahahaaaa
So I took Five of the guys back to school with me on the train. At my school we were having a carnival that day too. We did some bungy jumping, got icee and whatever else was going on this campus. Then we headed out to the game. The game was good and those kids on the court were big as heck. Dunking on each other and throwing oops and whatnot. We had a good time and I drove all the guys back at 9pm since it was late and we cough*cough*couldn'ttakethetraingot kickedoffcough*cough* ahhahaha dont tell nobody tho...it was an odd moment, made for laughs and memories, that's fa sho.
We love young people out here, and have no greater joy than to be a part of their lives. Ill put up some pic again soon. Its my last week of school then i'm out here all summer. I just want to spend all this time at church and with my boys you know. Praise God for what he does with us. Otherwise there's no telling what kinda mess we'd still be in.
On Thursdays usually my partners and I show up at the Church (Reborn Community Church, Pulaski&Wilcox) between 6-630pm. Sometimes our high schoolers are already there but sometimes just at the park up the street or on the way. We mostly spend these evenings hanging out at the Church, nothing too formal, not even our Bible lessons. We eat, play cards, talk, or whatever there is to do(as long as were spending some real time together). Foosball, four square, dodge ball, round robin(ping pong game), basketball, ANYTHING! Our goal is always to Love God and Love others and the preach the Gospel. We want to be primarily relational, we DO NOT want to just start another program. So after this 1 1/2 - 2 hours down time, we get to a short lesson usually no longer than 20mins. So there's your preview of how Thursdays go. Now Saturday.
I started that morning meeting with Jamie(the pastor) and we just prayed for some time, then we talked for a little while. I appreciate that we can do that too(were a pretty small Church). I think the high school guys were suppose to be there around 11am but it was almost 1230 before they came...can you say CPT? anybody? hahahaaaa
So I took Five of the guys back to school with me on the train. At my school we were having a carnival that day too. We did some bungy jumping, got icee and whatever else was going on this campus. Then we headed out to the game. The game was good and those kids on the court were big as heck. Dunking on each other and throwing oops and whatnot. We had a good time and I drove all the guys back at 9pm since it was late and we cough*cough*couldn'ttakethetraingot kickedoffcough*cough* ahhahaha dont tell nobody tho...it was an odd moment, made for laughs and memories, that's fa sho.
We love young people out here, and have no greater joy than to be a part of their lives. Ill put up some pic again soon. Its my last week of school then i'm out here all summer. I just want to spend all this time at church and with my boys you know. Praise God for what he does with us. Otherwise there's no telling what kinda mess we'd still be in.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
And maybe a video too
We got plucked by some thorns later... and seen a creater too...
seen a killer animal, looked like a beaver!
Camp photos far overdue
the marshes
where we sleep
smores!
remember tadpoles yall?
where da food at
ball yall
first half
listening to a Word
second half
chill by the water
And theres more. but you get the point right. just a great weekend!
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