Showing posts with label Long Nights Awake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Long Nights Awake. Show all posts
Friday, October 13, 2017
Valet Del Roy - No Sleep in Menifee
"No Sleep in Menifee" - by Valet Del Roy
From the 2017 Project: Before I Get Married
Song Produced by: @thrILLer4real (twitter)
Friday, June 2, 2017
Valet Del Roy Sneak Peek 2017 Mixtape
Sneak Peek Mixtape 2017... Valet Del Roy... Hey yall... as always having fun on break, garage sessions. This is my portable studio. Im getting married mid July... this has got to drop before then. here and on soundcloud. look out for it. i love you guys. enjoy. fourword motion!
#mixtape #music #valet #garagesessions #sneakpeek #live
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Saturday, January 28, 2017
FMF: Knowledge is Power, Just not Yours...
Hey There World,
Glad to see you again in the written form. I love you for real. So I'm asking real questions, speaking real thoughts, thinking critically with the very small amount of information I've acquired over time. So... Alright then.
"Knowledge is Power" - I remember hearing that somewhere at an early age. At some point in time we all may have experienced the self image of OPO (Odd Person Out). For whatever reason, may it be, how smart you are or how tall you are, where you come from, what you wear, how you speak, your width, color, freckles, hair, smile, feet or family. You might've been well of or come from a wealthy or highly educated family, so, what? We're all people right? All have feeling? All want some love and security, right? Ok. glad we got all of the commonalities out. For me it was not knowing something.
I don't remember the first time I was told "You don't know". But I remember hating the feeling. I wanted to know everything. If you won't speak, I will. If you don't tell me, I'll find out anyway. There we're hundred of ways to piece together information about anything or anyone if one would just take a moment to put the pieces in their proper place.
It didn't matter if anyone knew that I knew what I knew... or how much.
But One thing that I understood. Knowing is much better than not knowing. It's within us, just ask to show a child how to do something "right"... "No, I can do it/ I know how to do it/ please let me do it"... Nothing wrong with ambition... I applaud you tenacious children. I love you.
But some of us in the world have not learned or let go of this bad habit. Receiving instruction. But, "knowledge is power"... yea. If it is actually knowledge of true form. I'm sorry that sounds so proper, it's not how I talk normally, I don't think anyway. Probably why this all sound like gibberjab. Ok, Lets zero in then.
We live in an information age right. So I've been told. But information is not knowledge. Stick with me. Knowledge is the sum of what can be known. For us, we narrow that down to a series of topics. But knowledge vs mere information does us no go. What POWER is there is constantly regurgitating information that has already past. It's all the feelings and opinions that separate the two. It's seems that we have fallen out of place when it comes to applying knowledge that moves things. Gives those causes legs, awareness, education, stability. It is the knowledge, the sum of what can or needs to be known, the know how, so you can do, can be, can stand, can resist or assist. KNOWLEDGE is Power.
But we like information. Too much information, you're getting lost in your feelings, reacting and not responding. Whining and complaining. I tell you what, Start meeting together for real. Behind some closed doors. Peacefully, lawfully, tactfully, preparing to present or make way. Be quiet. Be organized. Be ready. Too much information is still chaos. Don't confuse free speech with venting opinions, passing mere information, and getting your two cents in. Use knowledge. All these feelings keeping the masses in a frenzy of endless information, all trying to catch up and keep up with each other. It's a distraction. Because those with the knowledge, do. And while they're doing, all you find out is the information. Alot of people are walking around with computers in there pockets and purses and won't use them well. Knowledge is power, just not yours... so get it together.
The whole idea behind "knowledge is power"
is that ignorance "is not" bliss.
When you know better, you can make a better way.
FourWord Motion Friday_Living to be Known.
Glad to see you again in the written form. I love you for real. So I'm asking real questions, speaking real thoughts, thinking critically with the very small amount of information I've acquired over time. So... Alright then.
"Knowledge is Power" - I remember hearing that somewhere at an early age. At some point in time we all may have experienced the self image of OPO (Odd Person Out). For whatever reason, may it be, how smart you are or how tall you are, where you come from, what you wear, how you speak, your width, color, freckles, hair, smile, feet or family. You might've been well of or come from a wealthy or highly educated family, so, what? We're all people right? All have feeling? All want some love and security, right? Ok. glad we got all of the commonalities out. For me it was not knowing something.
I don't remember the first time I was told "You don't know". But I remember hating the feeling. I wanted to know everything. If you won't speak, I will. If you don't tell me, I'll find out anyway. There we're hundred of ways to piece together information about anything or anyone if one would just take a moment to put the pieces in their proper place.
It didn't matter if anyone knew that I knew what I knew... or how much.
But One thing that I understood. Knowing is much better than not knowing. It's within us, just ask to show a child how to do something "right"... "No, I can do it/ I know how to do it/ please let me do it"... Nothing wrong with ambition... I applaud you tenacious children. I love you.
But some of us in the world have not learned or let go of this bad habit. Receiving instruction. But, "knowledge is power"... yea. If it is actually knowledge of true form. I'm sorry that sounds so proper, it's not how I talk normally, I don't think anyway. Probably why this all sound like gibberjab. Ok, Lets zero in then.
We live in an information age right. So I've been told. But information is not knowledge. Stick with me. Knowledge is the sum of what can be known. For us, we narrow that down to a series of topics. But knowledge vs mere information does us no go. What POWER is there is constantly regurgitating information that has already past. It's all the feelings and opinions that separate the two. It's seems that we have fallen out of place when it comes to applying knowledge that moves things. Gives those causes legs, awareness, education, stability. It is the knowledge, the sum of what can or needs to be known, the know how, so you can do, can be, can stand, can resist or assist. KNOWLEDGE is Power.
But we like information. Too much information, you're getting lost in your feelings, reacting and not responding. Whining and complaining. I tell you what, Start meeting together for real. Behind some closed doors. Peacefully, lawfully, tactfully, preparing to present or make way. Be quiet. Be organized. Be ready. Too much information is still chaos. Don't confuse free speech with venting opinions, passing mere information, and getting your two cents in. Use knowledge. All these feelings keeping the masses in a frenzy of endless information, all trying to catch up and keep up with each other. It's a distraction. Because those with the knowledge, do. And while they're doing, all you find out is the information. Alot of people are walking around with computers in there pockets and purses and won't use them well. Knowledge is power, just not yours... so get it together.
The whole idea behind "knowledge is power"
is that ignorance "is not" bliss.
When you know better, you can make a better way.
FourWord Motion Friday_Living to be Known.
Thursday, August 4, 2016
The Intangible Romance... (follow up Monday #31 8/1/16 post)
World! Hello...
I love you all, for real, thank you for reading, watching and listening. It's been a great year so far and will continue. So, thank You! Now, to this Romantic Relationship mind twist.
I'll try to be quick. I don't think there are enough arguments, detail and history to want to anyway.
Here in the year of 2016, at the tinder <<< (ha, tinder) which I'll never use)... age of 29, I realized that I've been fooled once again. Not but any particular person but rather culture and idealism. I'm specifically talking about the Romantic Relationship... Are you ready? You ,don't have to agree, I'm just asking for a few minutes to tell why. Yes, it's subjective and relative but maybe you'll feel the same. What it's become we don't argue. Times change culture. But what "is" it? Because if I knew what "it" was, then maybe I could master "it"... I mean shoooooot, I want a Wife and I want some kids, and you know what that means lol... sorry, that was supposed to be Romantic.
Google Romance or Romantic for a basic premise.
I like Merriam Webster... it's old, I grew up with it, I'll keep using it. (disclaimer)
Romance is based out of a story and time of stories. Adventure, Heroism, Idealism... somewhere I read identified between the 14-17 centuries. 300yrs. I know right. keep going.
It was chivalric. You know, knights, honor, loyalty, manners and stuff like that. Think about it; middle ages/wars/plagues/wars/ravaging/wars/religious decline/wars... etc. etc.
So, yea, the idea of Romance and an Ideal love affair and adventure and a hero and something, anything, please tell me a story of a life better than this...
And in a personal way The Idea was that whether it worked out or not, it was Romantic.
So in turn, Romance gave people a new perspective, that if they could idealize their situation in some way they at least had Romance. What a relief right!
We understand the power of Words and Ideas.
Now this is just foundation talk. Unfortunately, romance is not a real thing, not a fact, and not a foundation. But an Idea of a story applied to a story, our story. and we like it, even if it's "not based in fact".....
This is the part where I just lifted my head from my hands, knowing I might lose some readers and followers.
Your "Romantic Relationship" is fake or not an actual thing. It does not exist. You may view some things as romantic, you may try to appear romantic, you may aspire and long to be romantic or romanced but "to have", "to be", a romantic relationship. I'm not sure. I would've said maybe if your married, but with all these divorces and dying romances. I guess there's a better way to be married. shh, that's for future post.
Maybe, just maybe, you(used generically as "we all" if applicable) had sex, a moment, a day, a happening or some time and thought the situation romance or romantic.
Sorry, but when it comes to labeling of things that Are: i.e. we are family, we are friends, we are married, we are acquainted... but we are romantic is not a state of being. Just like, "we are dating" isn't... That my friend is a state of doing... but that's for next Monday...
Some of yall might not like me no more. I accept that. It's OK.
I didn't write to kill your romantic hopes. But rather say, Don't get it twisted, it's done enough damage to some of us. Because romance is ideal, as in, something we can regard, imagine, and personally apply to the "it" rather than seeing romance as the "it", then hold that. It's OK, to let romance present itself. But don't expect it to stay, be a solution or even a foundation.
I personally think that Romance is best suited for the married. What better to learn of someone's Ideal love affair(validity) and then apply it and then re-apply it over a shared lifetime. Anything else remains as a mere memory and passing moment in some sad yet temporarily gratifying blink... Maybe that's what got me all messed up in the first place. The cultural and ideal misplacing and mismanaging presentation of The Most Intangible Romance.
What do you think?
At least I didn't talk about "falling in love" right?... lol
I love you all, for real, thank you for reading, watching and listening. It's been a great year so far and will continue. So, thank You! Now, to this Romantic Relationship mind twist.
I'll try to be quick. I don't think there are enough arguments, detail and history to want to anyway.
Here in the year of 2016, at the tinder <<< (ha, tinder) which I'll never use)... age of 29, I realized that I've been fooled once again. Not but any particular person but rather culture and idealism. I'm specifically talking about the Romantic Relationship... Are you ready? You ,don't have to agree, I'm just asking for a few minutes to tell why. Yes, it's subjective and relative but maybe you'll feel the same. What it's become we don't argue. Times change culture. But what "is" it? Because if I knew what "it" was, then maybe I could master "it"... I mean shoooooot, I want a Wife and I want some kids, and you know what that means lol... sorry, that was supposed to be Romantic.
Google Romance or Romantic for a basic premise.
I like Merriam Webster... it's old, I grew up with it, I'll keep using it. (disclaimer)
Romance is based out of a story and time of stories. Adventure, Heroism, Idealism... somewhere I read identified between the 14-17 centuries. 300yrs. I know right. keep going.
It was chivalric. You know, knights, honor, loyalty, manners and stuff like that. Think about it; middle ages/wars/plagues/wars/ravaging/wars/religious decline/wars... etc. etc.
So, yea, the idea of Romance and an Ideal love affair and adventure and a hero and something, anything, please tell me a story of a life better than this...
And in a personal way The Idea was that whether it worked out or not, it was Romantic.
So in turn, Romance gave people a new perspective, that if they could idealize their situation in some way they at least had Romance. What a relief right!
We understand the power of Words and Ideas.
Now this is just foundation talk. Unfortunately, romance is not a real thing, not a fact, and not a foundation. But an Idea of a story applied to a story, our story. and we like it, even if it's "not based in fact".....
This is the part where I just lifted my head from my hands, knowing I might lose some readers and followers.
Your "Romantic Relationship" is fake or not an actual thing. It does not exist. You may view some things as romantic, you may try to appear romantic, you may aspire and long to be romantic or romanced but "to have", "to be", a romantic relationship. I'm not sure. I would've said maybe if your married, but with all these divorces and dying romances. I guess there's a better way to be married. shh, that's for future post.
Maybe, just maybe, you(used generically as "we all" if applicable) had sex, a moment, a day, a happening or some time and thought the situation romance or romantic.
Sorry, but when it comes to labeling of things that Are: i.e. we are family, we are friends, we are married, we are acquainted... but we are romantic is not a state of being. Just like, "we are dating" isn't... That my friend is a state of doing... but that's for next Monday...
Some of yall might not like me no more. I accept that. It's OK.
I didn't write to kill your romantic hopes. But rather say, Don't get it twisted, it's done enough damage to some of us. Because romance is ideal, as in, something we can regard, imagine, and personally apply to the "it" rather than seeing romance as the "it", then hold that. It's OK, to let romance present itself. But don't expect it to stay, be a solution or even a foundation.
I personally think that Romance is best suited for the married. What better to learn of someone's Ideal love affair(validity) and then apply it and then re-apply it over a shared lifetime. Anything else remains as a mere memory and passing moment in some sad yet temporarily gratifying blink... Maybe that's what got me all messed up in the first place. The cultural and ideal misplacing and mismanaging presentation of The Most Intangible Romance.
What do you think?
At least I didn't talk about "falling in love" right?... lol
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Knowledge?
I think the best definition of "knowledge", that I have ever read from a dictionary would be: 'the sum of what is known'. Of course that 'sum' may vary, in all cases we are more or less knowledgeable than another. It's a trip to think that from some point of for someone out there, life begins at the "know". Not talking about a form of consciousness. I can't say that I've discovered any new understanding or wisdom, you see, I'm sure that I think too much about many things all the time and communicating helps me see what is actually there. So here is what I know. Man cannot know all that which is known. I learned that from King Solomon. Then from apostles and yes, I learned from Jesus, God Himself.
Bold words!...yea I know. "If you got it you got it" some like to say. haha.
Anyway, Solomon was the wisest man to ever live, but Jesus, Jesus is the wisdom of God. So I got to thinking some more right. Jesus is Emmanuel = God with us! My definite Bible believing, God fearing acceptance of this truth (no one needing to agree) won't allow me to agree with anyone else but him on Most things in life. So what am I saying? ... I'm trying to get there.
Jesus, Son of God, Son of Man, Lord, Messiah said, "“I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." (stick with me here)
Knowledge, to know the known, that which is... (The Truth?)
Beginning - End, How-Where, What-Who, When, Why...(The Way?)
From life comes life, to know, the way to life is life?...(The Life?)
Hmmm... Life.
life begins with and ends with God, God, eternally existing, the source of life. Being the "know", possessing the "know" we obviously cannot attain. We don't even fully know ourselves. I learned this from King David.
We all yearn to know. To be known even. I believe this is what god did with creation, creating so that all existence, especially man, might "know" Him.
Now one can only wonder of what they do not know. And of what they do know, whether or not it is truth. But the beginning of knowledge and wisdom is the fear of the LORD. (reverence of, acknowledgement of, respect of, fear of God.)
I came to a point that I HAD TO confess to know nothing, al so that I might discover what is known (the know), that knowledge could be found. So in conclusion, we have not and can not attain knowledge: "the sum of what is known."
Such is a great endeavor of man that faith can only satisfy.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, the Life.
Who shows us the Father, who sends the Spirit, who seals us.
Sealing for us ... knowledge.
Knowledge not being God, but found in God, where my soul finds rest.
From all fear unknown.
Bold words!...yea I know. "If you got it you got it" some like to say. haha.
Anyway, Solomon was the wisest man to ever live, but Jesus, Jesus is the wisdom of God. So I got to thinking some more right. Jesus is Emmanuel = God with us! My definite Bible believing, God fearing acceptance of this truth (no one needing to agree) won't allow me to agree with anyone else but him on Most things in life. So what am I saying? ... I'm trying to get there.
Jesus, Son of God, Son of Man, Lord, Messiah said, "“I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." (stick with me here)
Knowledge, to know the known, that which is... (The Truth?)
Beginning - End, How-Where, What-Who, When, Why...(The Way?)
From life comes life, to know, the way to life is life?...(The Life?)
Hmmm... Life.
life begins with and ends with God, God, eternally existing, the source of life. Being the "know", possessing the "know" we obviously cannot attain. We don't even fully know ourselves. I learned this from King David.
We all yearn to know. To be known even. I believe this is what god did with creation, creating so that all existence, especially man, might "know" Him.
Now one can only wonder of what they do not know. And of what they do know, whether or not it is truth. But the beginning of knowledge and wisdom is the fear of the LORD. (reverence of, acknowledgement of, respect of, fear of God.)
I came to a point that I HAD TO confess to know nothing, al so that I might discover what is known (the know), that knowledge could be found. So in conclusion, we have not and can not attain knowledge: "the sum of what is known."
Such is a great endeavor of man that faith can only satisfy.
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, the Life.
Who shows us the Father, who sends the Spirit, who seals us.
Sealing for us ... knowledge.
Knowledge not being God, but found in God, where my soul finds rest.
From all fear unknown.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Laboring Saints
Laboring
Saints
It; comes in those hard times
Because worship starts after midnight
In the struggle of the flesh
Weak; while the spirit is willing
Secrets revealing the innermost
longings for the petitions before the throne of Majesty
We cry for the lost
This travesty
Deceived
So we intercede for thee
Christ intercedes for us
Fighting through the hours of the darkness
Praying unceasingly
As
Laboring
Saints
Friday, March 22, 2013
"I" ... "I'm" ... "I" ...
I spend a lot of time alone. lol.
I have plenty of moments when I take deep breaths that come from what seems like absolutely nowhere.
I'm pretty sure they follow uncanny thoughts, emotions, visions and whatnot or whatever was there at the time.
I get the feeling of a deep hollow in my gut that strikes me with a quickened paralysis equivalent to that of panic/anxiety attacks, except that the panic and anxiety aren't present.
I wish there was a man that could actually be committed to helping me get to where I want to be in this life, to take me under the wing and train me. Not to just check up on me and sit and talk like they understand what I'm actually trying to get to. Action! You gotta be in my grill to get me to budge. But yall don't get it, you think it's part of the "being a man" stage. Well how the ---- does someone left to themselves become a man. I promise you that my whole generation feels this way. Though some of us are deceived because we are really trying on our own and just pray that God will get us there in your absence.
I don't know how to sleep well. So I only use what is sufficient to not die.
I don't eat as much because I've actually lost my appetite for life ever sense my granpa passed.
I've lately been using my margin money to do things that rich folks do; movies, shows, food, charity. The only problem is that I bear a consequence they do not. I'll end up broke and in a worse spot.
I miss my lil sister and mother worry about them often. Feel like I'm not a good enough big brother.
I'm scared I won't get back to school by the time the 2014 semester starts.
I'm wonder what I would do if I knew I was heading toward homelessness.
I met this young lady, trying to work out a day to go out, it's been almost 4yrs. (let this go tho, not open for discussion).
I want to go back to Kenya! That's what I really think about the most these days. Getting away from you all for a while. (you being entirely subjective, don't trip)
I'm tired of writing. Pray for me, if you will.
I have plenty of moments when I take deep breaths that come from what seems like absolutely nowhere.
I'm pretty sure they follow uncanny thoughts, emotions, visions and whatnot or whatever was there at the time.
I get the feeling of a deep hollow in my gut that strikes me with a quickened paralysis equivalent to that of panic/anxiety attacks, except that the panic and anxiety aren't present.
I wish there was a man that could actually be committed to helping me get to where I want to be in this life, to take me under the wing and train me. Not to just check up on me and sit and talk like they understand what I'm actually trying to get to. Action! You gotta be in my grill to get me to budge. But yall don't get it, you think it's part of the "being a man" stage. Well how the ---- does someone left to themselves become a man. I promise you that my whole generation feels this way. Though some of us are deceived because we are really trying on our own and just pray that God will get us there in your absence.
I don't know how to sleep well. So I only use what is sufficient to not die.
I don't eat as much because I've actually lost my appetite for life ever sense my granpa passed.
I've lately been using my margin money to do things that rich folks do; movies, shows, food, charity. The only problem is that I bear a consequence they do not. I'll end up broke and in a worse spot.
I miss my lil sister and mother worry about them often. Feel like I'm not a good enough big brother.
I'm scared I won't get back to school by the time the 2014 semester starts.
I'm wonder what I would do if I knew I was heading toward homelessness.
I met this young lady, trying to work out a day to go out, it's been almost 4yrs. (let this go tho, not open for discussion).
I want to go back to Kenya! That's what I really think about the most these days. Getting away from you all for a while. (you being entirely subjective, don't trip)
I'm tired of writing. Pray for me, if you will.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Thoughts by the Thousands
I'm not depressed.
I am very much alive.
I recently asked someone if they thought I was saved. "i don't know." was the response. OW! But that's OK. or is it?
I love watching movies; in theatres. matinees are best because they're cheap. It's a wiser way to spend. It includes relaxing & rest.
I like eating, I'm glad that I get to eat free at work. it saves a lot of money.
I need a new phone. I think I'm finally going to get one this week.
Those were just thoughts. Thoughts that took thirty seconds. All day long we think thoughts of things. I would guess thousands. So why do I always think about the day I might die?
I don't want to know how or when or why but I think about it.
Don't think ahead of me. Your questions are of no use right now because I'm jsut saying.
What will the next 6 months bring.
How will I pay for school, when will I get to return.
Will I get married. Will I leave a widow.
How am I going to eat if my teeth keep braking and disappearing. (what woman marries a toothless man at 25? lol)
What do people REALLy think of me. I don't care, I don't trust them.
Why can't I explain this burden.
I know not what God has instore for me. Some say great things. Ha! The fact that you say makes me want to leap in pride, and thus be crushed by God like Job, except without the double portion in the end.
What if I end up homeless. Would I be too prideful or defeated to get/seek/accept help.
I want to disappear. (true thought) but I can't. I love you too much to do it.
I don't want to be in the spotlight. Or a leader. I'd like to be invisable, naw, just less noticed. But my make-up disagrees.
hahahahahah. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of talking to you.
If you read this. Don't mention it. This ones not open for discussion. The thoughts keep going. I don't have enough space to write.
I am very much alive.
I recently asked someone if they thought I was saved. "i don't know." was the response. OW! But that's OK. or is it?
I love watching movies; in theatres. matinees are best because they're cheap. It's a wiser way to spend. It includes relaxing & rest.
I like eating, I'm glad that I get to eat free at work. it saves a lot of money.
I need a new phone. I think I'm finally going to get one this week.
Those were just thoughts. Thoughts that took thirty seconds. All day long we think thoughts of things. I would guess thousands. So why do I always think about the day I might die?
I don't want to know how or when or why but I think about it.
Don't think ahead of me. Your questions are of no use right now because I'm jsut saying.
What will the next 6 months bring.
How will I pay for school, when will I get to return.
Will I get married. Will I leave a widow.
How am I going to eat if my teeth keep braking and disappearing. (what woman marries a toothless man at 25? lol)
What do people REALLy think of me. I don't care, I don't trust them.
Why can't I explain this burden.
I know not what God has instore for me. Some say great things. Ha! The fact that you say makes me want to leap in pride, and thus be crushed by God like Job, except without the double portion in the end.
What if I end up homeless. Would I be too prideful or defeated to get/seek/accept help.
I want to disappear. (true thought) but I can't. I love you too much to do it.
I don't want to be in the spotlight. Or a leader. I'd like to be invisable, naw, just less noticed. But my make-up disagrees.
hahahahahah. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of talking to you.
If you read this. Don't mention it. This ones not open for discussion. The thoughts keep going. I don't have enough space to write.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
I don't understand Love
A conversation that almost turned argument got me to thinking: why can't we agree that we do not understand "Love." It really does not matter which type of love that may be because it is the essence of "love: that we truly cannot grasp. Before you get ideas about what I'm saying or how you feel, let me add some context to how my conversation with a good friend brought us both to ending it on this idea (not understanding).
This is simple, I stand behind my point that "love is a choice." My friend says that though love "might" be a choice, love is actually more than that.
Now I could but I will not elaborate much on all that my friend said so I'll try to stick to my own argument, which will probably be sporadic, and I'm sorry if it becomes hard to follow, but I'm kinda thinking on a blank page right now. The truth is that i DO NOT understand love. try to examine with me. maybe a study will come and Ill add all my biblical references. but for now lets just - vent.
God chose to love us
God chose to create us and love us all the same
God is love but love is not God? (God shows us perfect love, we understand it through Him, so when we look at God we should see love even though we don't understand. But, because we don't fully understand love when we look at love we may not see God.)(God = love, but does love = God?)
I can choose to show you love or not to. Even if I felt like I did not chose to love you, if I do not act upon it than is it still love.
Love is not a feeling but with love comes feeling.
If you loved me then why can I chose to reject it. being that
Love is not insane or illogical and Love is not unfair. (we see love through broken lenses and
sometimes through broken hearts and hurt feelings and seemingly shattered dreams we conclude that love is or can be cruel, but if we look to things Biblical, God has been restoring and piecing together the picture as a complete thing. A perfect view that can only be understood by seeing the love of God in Christ through the Holy Spirit.)(and if God is the standard of love and has done it perfectly then love is logical and fair and very sane.)(His thought and ways are beyond ours or our understanding.)
Jesus commanded us to love, doesn't that signify that he wants us to chose to obey him and isn't loving God being obedient to him and it says that there is no fear in love because perfect love cast out fear. (so why are we afraid to love.)
We distort love and use it falsely which in reality is not love at all.
What I do know is that through Christ and the cross and the Resurrection that I came to understand just a little of what it means for God to love us, and having loved me in such a way that I should love the same, although my ability to love perfectly is not possible in this flesh.
Can unbelievers love? how about if they marry under the covenant of God, which is obedient, and never cheat or divorce? have they loved each other or even God?; even if unknowingly?
Being made in Gods image gives us the capacity to do certain things, how great may depend on whether or not you are "in him."
Originally we were made in his image and likeness. with sin we lost the likeness. in Christ we are conformed back to his likeness and able to love like he does, to some capacity. maybe?
So did God have to love us? Some say yes! others say no!
All I know is that God is in control and that He chooses what's happening and if all we know about the beginning is that God created (faring that he chose to) then all I can understand is that he also chose to love his creation; and that in every act, whether we understand or not, he continually is expressing his love which was complete in Christ. And that Is a love I do not understand. (As far as i can understand God, that is.) but as for myself, I did not use to love, i thought I had but truly had not, now I strive to truly love in a way that was only exemplified by my Lord. Choosing to to Love God and others through sacrifice and death to self for the sake of Christ name and the edification of the Body. Pointing you to the love i only know being that GOD LOVES YOU! if only you would chose to receive it and then [chose to follow], and thus love in the same.
but i don't know. If you do, I'd appreciate some help on this. or at least some thoughts. because at the end of the day I have to throw up my hand and confess. Maybe I just don't understand love. But i still think it is a choice.
This is simple, I stand behind my point that "love is a choice." My friend says that though love "might" be a choice, love is actually more than that.
Now I could but I will not elaborate much on all that my friend said so I'll try to stick to my own argument, which will probably be sporadic, and I'm sorry if it becomes hard to follow, but I'm kinda thinking on a blank page right now. The truth is that i DO NOT understand love. try to examine with me. maybe a study will come and Ill add all my biblical references. but for now lets just - vent.
God chose to love us
God chose to create us and love us all the same
God is love but love is not God? (God shows us perfect love, we understand it through Him, so when we look at God we should see love even though we don't understand. But, because we don't fully understand love when we look at love we may not see God.)(God = love, but does love = God?)
I can choose to show you love or not to. Even if I felt like I did not chose to love you, if I do not act upon it than is it still love.
Love is not a feeling but with love comes feeling.
If you loved me then why can I chose to reject it. being that
Love is not insane or illogical and Love is not unfair. (we see love through broken lenses and
sometimes through broken hearts and hurt feelings and seemingly shattered dreams we conclude that love is or can be cruel, but if we look to things Biblical, God has been restoring and piecing together the picture as a complete thing. A perfect view that can only be understood by seeing the love of God in Christ through the Holy Spirit.)(and if God is the standard of love and has done it perfectly then love is logical and fair and very sane.)(His thought and ways are beyond ours or our understanding.)
Jesus commanded us to love, doesn't that signify that he wants us to chose to obey him and isn't loving God being obedient to him and it says that there is no fear in love because perfect love cast out fear. (so why are we afraid to love.)
We distort love and use it falsely which in reality is not love at all.
What I do know is that through Christ and the cross and the Resurrection that I came to understand just a little of what it means for God to love us, and having loved me in such a way that I should love the same, although my ability to love perfectly is not possible in this flesh.
Can unbelievers love? how about if they marry under the covenant of God, which is obedient, and never cheat or divorce? have they loved each other or even God?; even if unknowingly?
Being made in Gods image gives us the capacity to do certain things, how great may depend on whether or not you are "in him."
Originally we were made in his image and likeness. with sin we lost the likeness. in Christ we are conformed back to his likeness and able to love like he does, to some capacity. maybe?
So did God have to love us? Some say yes! others say no!
All I know is that God is in control and that He chooses what's happening and if all we know about the beginning is that God created (faring that he chose to) then all I can understand is that he also chose to love his creation; and that in every act, whether we understand or not, he continually is expressing his love which was complete in Christ. And that Is a love I do not understand. (As far as i can understand God, that is.) but as for myself, I did not use to love, i thought I had but truly had not, now I strive to truly love in a way that was only exemplified by my Lord. Choosing to to Love God and others through sacrifice and death to self for the sake of Christ name and the edification of the Body. Pointing you to the love i only know being that GOD LOVES YOU! if only you would chose to receive it and then [chose to follow], and thus love in the same.
but i don't know. If you do, I'd appreciate some help on this. or at least some thoughts. because at the end of the day I have to throw up my hand and confess. Maybe I just don't understand love. But i still think it is a choice.
Monday, July 16, 2012
last weeks lightbulb
I have a great calling!
And to whom much is given, much is certainly required. You see, I have fared that ministry is a lifestyle that goes beyond commonality. My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides. I get what I am suppose to everyday, because He is just in all His ways. It is very fortunate to be in the will of God. the perfect will of the Almighty. I go through cycles daily. I am limited but am connected to resourceful Master. So why do I fret? many troubles and challenges come my way; "to the one who overcomes." it says. That's the song they sang. "happy is the man," he wrote by wisdom. Then with his next breath he cried out in agony. all go through cycles, daily. We're not "all" so different. I'm just acknowledging that I need help, encouragement, guidance, wisdom, strength, discipline and much much more. Sometimes I think ans say, "When will my blessing come?" Well, I woke up, I know and I am known by Him. Then I was reminded by a mom, the very words of scripture tattooed on my chest, Proverbs 30:7-9(look it up)...
My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides.
Pray for me.
And to whom much is given, much is certainly required. You see, I have fared that ministry is a lifestyle that goes beyond commonality. My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides. I get what I am suppose to everyday, because He is just in all His ways. It is very fortunate to be in the will of God. the perfect will of the Almighty. I go through cycles daily. I am limited but am connected to resourceful Master. So why do I fret? many troubles and challenges come my way; "to the one who overcomes." it says. That's the song they sang. "happy is the man," he wrote by wisdom. Then with his next breath he cried out in agony. all go through cycles, daily. We're not "all" so different. I'm just acknowledging that I need help, encouragement, guidance, wisdom, strength, discipline and much much more. Sometimes I think ans say, "When will my blessing come?" Well, I woke up, I know and I am known by Him. Then I was reminded by a mom, the very words of scripture tattooed on my chest, Proverbs 30:7-9(look it up)...
My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides.
Pray for me.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Mid-Night Unrest
Wednesday night I went for a walk down to the River by the movie theatre. Often I have to go for walks because they are just that good. Quite necessary for a Cali Kid that's so use to being outside more than he is inside. Boy I tell ya this Chicago weather doesn't know what it wants to do. Today is May twentieth and we're just now finally getting sunlight that has been here since the morning; and will hopefully last throughout the day.
SO what was I saying? Oh yes that's it, Wednesday night...
The river walk closes at 11PM so I am usually leaving there before that time comes. The bench I regularly sit at was taken, not that I'm afraid of strangers or anything because i have no problem sitting next to anybody. Yet this night was not a sitting matter, there was a homeless man stretched out sleeping. So, with an understanding and respect for such a humbling lifestyle I relocated for the amount of time I was there.
(In my mind I go through cycles)
I am always confronted with the desire to to want to help even when I can't or do not have the means. This desire often conflicts with the conviction I receive through the Holy Spirit to those God directly prompts me to bless and those whom I am to not. I AM NO JUDGE! I see people daily here in Chicago on the streets looking tired, hungry, beat-up(literally swollen face and hands), and sick(sores, blisters and mental diseases). And I don't always understand why it is that at times the Lord would have me give to someone who I know will spend it on alcohol or drugs and sometime not to the hungry person who looks sincere to the need. ONLY GOD KNOWS HEARTS. The only answer I have for myself is that God said "him there/her there/that family", that I give for feed. Sometimes it is not about what someone will do with what you give them, but rather that you be God's instrument of loving that one person who may not have been loved that day in any small way without hypocrisy. A simple measure of obedience (that is partnered with discernment) even when you do not agree or understand. And every time I see people struggle, this is the battle I go through as I wait for the confirmation of God's prompting...."How much more do you think my heart aches for those I love and know personally" (And I would reflect on God's Word and how Christ Jesus so cares).
So after much thinking on life, home, where I at and all the anxieties that come with. I began to walk back to my dorm planning to go to bed. As I crossed Chicago on LaSalle I heard someone calling my name "Yo D-Roc!" When I looked up it was my boy Bryce. "What you up to!?" he said "nuthin what up!?" I say. "Wanna roll?"......"YEP!" and I ran into the street and jumped in the car....Oh, crazy? Not Quite, he was at a red light hahaha.
He had two friends with him and when I asked what was up he said they were looking for homeless people, "seen any?"...."uh, yea, there all over the place."
Now that may sound insincere to you, but it's not, I promise. Bryce told me that they had bags of food they have been trying to give out for the last half hour at least. We went by the park, no body. We drove through the city a bit, no one. Then we had seen a man with a sign in front of Walgreen's on Clark Street, amen! So we gave him a bag. Next we figured we go to a common local spot where most of the homeless in the city have made a home. Namely, Wacker Drive.
Out on Wacker drvie it was unusual to not see peoples everywhere, maybe the city has been cracking down a bit harder. They have been doing more construction around that area. After a bit of driving and searching we saw a man walking. So we blessed him with a few bags. When we asked him if there were more people down the road he told us where to find them. So we found them and gave to them also. Again we asked if where there were more peoples that we could give to and how to get there from the spot we were in. They told us, so we went. To this end we only had three bags left, and there were five peoples. WE gave to to a couple and the other couple shared. One man seen us but instead of coming toward us to get a bag, he began to walk in the other direction. We talked with one of the couples for a quick minute and shared a few laughs as I think they more so lifted our spirits although I would argue that case often. So as we left, the man who did not receive a bag walked in front of us. I told the other guys I felt bad about not having anything left and if I should give him a few dollars. B told me that was my choice. So I said a quick prayer t determine and the Lord gave me peace to do so. Once we caught up to the man he was fine and nonchalant about not getting a bag. But the I handed him a few dollars, the whole night got flipped upside down. This man, homeless, teeth in the front missing said a humbling thing. "See how God works. When I praised this God took it from me, but when I let go of it, He blesses me with it." After this he began to minister to us. He put down some sound knowledge. I think one would have to be a fool not to listen to the homeless man that has something to tell young men. He shared his story and how he got to where he is at, how he used to think and the fact that his daughter is older than us (which we all laughed about). He said "this generation is dying off, and now you young guys have to be the light. God is going to test you, that's a guarantee, but you stick together and keep shining the light, even though you have sin." So as we walked back to the car and talked, when we stopped to get in he kept going, telling us where he was going and that he would use that money for food. He thanked us and thanked God and encouraged us to keep being spiritual disciples." The man knew the Word, and gave it as it is. That there just made my night...
From there Bryce dropped me back off at campus. When I got upstairs and checked the clock it was nearly 12am... And I laid down with joy, thanking God and also praying for family, friends, school and Church. Yet, for some reason unknown to me still, I could not fall asleep. I lay awake uneasy for two hours tossing and turning and asking God "what's going on here? I'm listening, talk to me." But I was not listening and I did not want to hear anything. Eventually I fell out. And at 3AM I was back up again. I had to be up at 630AM to get to work by 7AM. It only took maybe 30 minutes to fall asleep this time. And I made it through yesterday alright. What I kept wondering is: "How has such a blessed day kept me restless all night?" but maybe I'm just asking the wrong question. Ya think?
SO what was I saying? Oh yes that's it, Wednesday night...
The river walk closes at 11PM so I am usually leaving there before that time comes. The bench I regularly sit at was taken, not that I'm afraid of strangers or anything because i have no problem sitting next to anybody. Yet this night was not a sitting matter, there was a homeless man stretched out sleeping. So, with an understanding and respect for such a humbling lifestyle I relocated for the amount of time I was there.
(In my mind I go through cycles)
I am always confronted with the desire to to want to help even when I can't or do not have the means. This desire often conflicts with the conviction I receive through the Holy Spirit to those God directly prompts me to bless and those whom I am to not. I AM NO JUDGE! I see people daily here in Chicago on the streets looking tired, hungry, beat-up(literally swollen face and hands), and sick(sores, blisters and mental diseases). And I don't always understand why it is that at times the Lord would have me give to someone who I know will spend it on alcohol or drugs and sometime not to the hungry person who looks sincere to the need. ONLY GOD KNOWS HEARTS. The only answer I have for myself is that God said "him there/her there/that family", that I give for feed. Sometimes it is not about what someone will do with what you give them, but rather that you be God's instrument of loving that one person who may not have been loved that day in any small way without hypocrisy. A simple measure of obedience (that is partnered with discernment) even when you do not agree or understand. And every time I see people struggle, this is the battle I go through as I wait for the confirmation of God's prompting...."How much more do you think my heart aches for those I love and know personally" (And I would reflect on God's Word and how Christ Jesus so cares).
So after much thinking on life, home, where I at and all the anxieties that come with. I began to walk back to my dorm planning to go to bed. As I crossed Chicago on LaSalle I heard someone calling my name "Yo D-Roc!" When I looked up it was my boy Bryce. "What you up to!?" he said "nuthin what up!?" I say. "Wanna roll?"......"YEP!" and I ran into the street and jumped in the car....Oh, crazy? Not Quite, he was at a red light hahaha.
He had two friends with him and when I asked what was up he said they were looking for homeless people, "seen any?"...."uh, yea, there all over the place."
Now that may sound insincere to you, but it's not, I promise. Bryce told me that they had bags of food they have been trying to give out for the last half hour at least. We went by the park, no body. We drove through the city a bit, no one. Then we had seen a man with a sign in front of Walgreen's on Clark Street, amen! So we gave him a bag. Next we figured we go to a common local spot where most of the homeless in the city have made a home. Namely, Wacker Drive.
Out on Wacker drvie it was unusual to not see peoples everywhere, maybe the city has been cracking down a bit harder. They have been doing more construction around that area. After a bit of driving and searching we saw a man walking. So we blessed him with a few bags. When we asked him if there were more people down the road he told us where to find them. So we found them and gave to them also. Again we asked if where there were more peoples that we could give to and how to get there from the spot we were in. They told us, so we went. To this end we only had three bags left, and there were five peoples. WE gave to to a couple and the other couple shared. One man seen us but instead of coming toward us to get a bag, he began to walk in the other direction. We talked with one of the couples for a quick minute and shared a few laughs as I think they more so lifted our spirits although I would argue that case often. So as we left, the man who did not receive a bag walked in front of us. I told the other guys I felt bad about not having anything left and if I should give him a few dollars. B told me that was my choice. So I said a quick prayer t determine and the Lord gave me peace to do so. Once we caught up to the man he was fine and nonchalant about not getting a bag. But the I handed him a few dollars, the whole night got flipped upside down. This man, homeless, teeth in the front missing said a humbling thing. "See how God works. When I praised this God took it from me, but when I let go of it, He blesses me with it." After this he began to minister to us. He put down some sound knowledge. I think one would have to be a fool not to listen to the homeless man that has something to tell young men. He shared his story and how he got to where he is at, how he used to think and the fact that his daughter is older than us (which we all laughed about). He said "this generation is dying off, and now you young guys have to be the light. God is going to test you, that's a guarantee, but you stick together and keep shining the light, even though you have sin." So as we walked back to the car and talked, when we stopped to get in he kept going, telling us where he was going and that he would use that money for food. He thanked us and thanked God and encouraged us to keep being spiritual disciples." The man knew the Word, and gave it as it is. That there just made my night...
From there Bryce dropped me back off at campus. When I got upstairs and checked the clock it was nearly 12am... And I laid down with joy, thanking God and also praying for family, friends, school and Church. Yet, for some reason unknown to me still, I could not fall asleep. I lay awake uneasy for two hours tossing and turning and asking God "what's going on here? I'm listening, talk to me." But I was not listening and I did not want to hear anything. Eventually I fell out. And at 3AM I was back up again. I had to be up at 630AM to get to work by 7AM. It only took maybe 30 minutes to fall asleep this time. And I made it through yesterday alright. What I kept wondering is: "How has such a blessed day kept me restless all night?" but maybe I'm just asking the wrong question. Ya think?
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