Living to be Known: When Silence Lingers - FourWord Monday #43

Is silence bad or good communication? how long of silence is too long?



Want more great content? .... links below



Music - http://www.soundcloud.com/valetdelroy

Blog - http://www.generationofeagles.blogspot.com

Website - http://www.livingtobeknown.com

Youtube - http://www.youtube.com/user/HeraldForTruth

Twitter - http://twitter.com/livingtobeknown

Instagram - http://www.instagram.com/delroymartinjr/

Google+ - https://plus.google.com/108065988541998529217

The Intangible Romance... (follow up Monday #31 8/1/16 post)

World! Hello...

I love you all, for real, thank you for reading, watching and listening. It's been a great year so far and will continue. So, thank You! Now, to this Romantic Relationship mind twist.

I'll try to be quick. I don't think there are enough arguments, detail and history to want to anyway.
Here in the year of 2016, at the tinder <<< (ha, tinder) which I'll never use)... age of 29, I realized that I've been fooled once again. Not but any particular person but rather culture and idealism. I'm specifically talking about the Romantic Relationship... Are you ready? You ,don't have to agree, I'm just asking for a few minutes to tell why. Yes, it's subjective and relative but maybe you'll feel the same. What it's become we don't argue. Times change culture. But what "is" it? Because if I knew what "it" was, then maybe I could master "it"... I mean shoooooot, I want a Wife and I want some kids, and you know what that means lol... sorry, that was supposed to be Romantic.

Google Romance or Romantic for a basic premise.
I like Merriam Webster... it's old, I grew up with it, I'll keep using it. (disclaimer)

Romance is based out of a story and time of stories. Adventure, Heroism, Idealism... somewhere I read identified between the 14-17 centuries. 300yrs. I know right. keep going.

It was chivalric. You know, knights, honor, loyalty, manners and stuff like that. Think about it; middle ages/wars/plagues/wars/ravaging/wars/religious decline/wars... etc. etc.

So, yea, the idea of Romance and an Ideal love affair and adventure and a hero and something, anything, please tell me a story of a life better than this...

And in a personal way The Idea was that whether it worked out or not, it was Romantic.

So in turn, Romance gave people a new perspective, that if they could idealize their situation in some way they at least had Romance. What a relief right!

We understand the power of Words and Ideas.

Now this is just foundation talk. Unfortunately, romance is not a real thing, not a fact, and not a foundation. But an Idea of a story applied to a story, our story. and we like it, even if it's "not based in fact".....

This is the part where I just lifted my head from my hands, knowing I might lose some readers and followers. 

Your "Romantic Relationship" is fake or not an actual thing. It does not exist. You may view some things as romantic, you may try to appear romantic, you may aspire and long to be romantic or romanced but  "to have", "to be", a romantic relationship. I'm not sure. I would've said maybe if your married, but with all these divorces and dying romances. I guess there's a better way to be married. shh, that's for future post.

Maybe, just maybe, you(used generically as "we all" if applicable) had sex, a moment, a day, a happening or some time and thought the situation romance or romantic.

Sorry, but when it comes to labeling of things that Are: i.e. we are family, we are friends, we are married, we are acquainted... but we are romantic is not a state of being. Just like, "we are dating" isn't... That my friend is a state of doing... but that's for next Monday...

Some of yall might not like me no more. I accept that. It's OK.

I didn't write to kill your romantic hopes. But rather say, Don't get it twisted, it's done enough damage to some of us. Because romance is ideal, as in, something we can regard, imagine, and personally apply to the "it" rather than seeing romance as the "it", then hold that. It's OK, to let romance present itself. But don't expect it to stay, be a solution or even a foundation.

I personally think that Romance is best suited for the married. What better to learn of someone's Ideal love affair(validity) and then apply it and then re-apply it over a shared lifetime. Anything else remains as a mere memory and passing moment in some sad yet temporarily gratifying blink... Maybe that's what got me all messed up in the first place. The cultural and ideal misplacing and mismanaging presentation of The Most Intangible Romance.

What do you think?

At least I didn't talk about "falling in love" right?... lol

Valet Del Roy - They All Got Away

There's always a few that get away... back in the day.

#theyallgotaway #nohardfeelings



Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/valetdelroy/they-all-got-away



Blog: generationofeagles.blogspot.com



Website: livingtobeknown.com

State of Confusion - Valet Del Roy [Prod.] Michael James Monsoor

Heart for Home ft. Shawn Martin, BJ , Valet Del Roy

(Prayer of a Minister)...A Look into Perspective

July 12th, 2009. That was the day of  my licensing. Many people don't know that. But quite a few do. Even more than that, most people don't understand what that means. When people find out they immediately fall into assumptions that distort their views of who I am, what I do and what my goals are.

July 12th, 2009. In one moment, I assumed, the title and responsibility as "Minister of the Gospel"... Little did I know that I would also, in that moment, fall under the judgement of so many people based off of judgments that were made by people who have absolutely nothing to do with me or my own judgement's. Go ahead and read that again if you need to. This blog won't go anywhere.

July 12th, 2009. I stood before a community of people and leaders who all affirmed that.

Now, Let get this out. Minister(servant, aid, clergy) of(of) the(as in T-h-e) Gospel(Good News). And that "good news".... well, this blog isn't about the "good news", in particular. It's about the prayer of a servant. A servant of people, justice, forgiveness, redemption, reconciliation, faith, hope and love. And what's wrong with that. You see, I'm convinced that you, do not know me; not very well anyway. Nor do you often understand me. Nor do you know what I've been through. Ha! isn't this the claim of so many people? Wow...we are all so different, evolution must be real :-/ Somehow human beings have grown into singular units of space, time and exclusivity that doesn't allow us to connect at the level of the basic human natural occurrences and, and, and... LOL. Give me a break. Humans have been going through the same things for thousands of years. so please excuse me if I want to stay in that section while I'm here too.

Look at it this way. I work at a hotel and I am the, "Valet." I serve people in many different ways. I care for them, their things, I give directions and information. And I do it whether they are a direct guest of my hotel or not. For many people I am their first encounter with the hotel and sometimes to the City of Chicago. But one thing they recognize is that i am like any one of them, from the poorest to some of the richest, I serve them all.

So much could be said. I

July 12th, 2009. This was the day I became a Minister. It is now, December 15th, 2015. I am no less of a Minister. Maybe you still don't know what that means yet.

Behind His Eyes...pt 2

The logic of people who have hard times astounds me. In most cases I find them much wiser than those who have not faced as much (probably from the lack of having to constantly assess the decisions they've made and situations they've been in and through).

This man went back to talking about the job he worked in catering, at a time when, things were good. "You know what I don't understand?" he said "I don't get how people can have so much money and the things they do with it. Check this homie. I did this party for an 11yr old girl. Her parents bought out the whole place. Had to drop at least a hunid thou on it. They were showing pictures of all the places she had been. Israel, Australia, Africa...She had pictures with pyramids. Hawaii, Europe. All these places she done been. SHE ONLY 11. I ain't neva been out the country. Bro! I was in a tuxedo, standing at a kiddy bar, servin shirley temples, juice and soda." He leaned back and gave me that 'can you believe that sh-' ...face. and then he continues...

 "And he was Jewish. Man they have it good. Have you ever known a poor Jewish person? I mean right now today, do you know any?" And then he waited for my response. Now I don't know any poor Jewish people, not poor like I've seen or would consider poor anyway. My Bible and history knowledge would kick in at this moment filtering through all that God's people have encountered since the calling of Abraham and the beginning of Israel, ancient Israel that is. And so I just shrugged and shook, "no". Which he commenced to continue, now that my answer satisfied his train of thought.

 "... That right. Because their God's people. God said he was always gone take care of them...Man! What I wouldn't give to be one of His people. They not gonna live like this. That's crazy. And after all they done been through, can you believe it. God chose a stiff necked people to be his. To take care of and never turn his back on." WHOA! Is all I could think. Did he just really say that. What a theology of love and grace! And I'm pretty sure he didn't intend to make such a profound and plain statement, truth. But still he continued, not knowing that in the moment all my attention peeked.

 "A stiff necked people is what the Bible says. Man, they gotta good. And for some reason they got the money too. Man I wish God would bless me like that. I could do so much good with that. But that's the difference, they take care of theirs but we don't take care of ours. But that's how it should be done. If only God would bless me like that. I'd go buy a bunch of these vacant and condemned lots in our neighborhoods and start rebuildin', do somethin good for the community and give people some jobs. I'd call my peoples that are struggling and tell em, 'here's some work homie, Ima start you off at $11.50 here, so you can feed your family homie. And I'd go around and make sure to take care of my people you know..."

 At that moment my train had pulled up. I didn't want to go but I needed to get to work and was trying to figure how to end this conversation and move along without seeming disrespectful or awkward. So I nearly cut him off "I feel you brotha, I do. This is my train man." "Ah, oh, ok" he said. And as I stepped away I nodded in approval and with encouragement and patted over my heart twice.

 He returned the gesture and kept walking on. The train pulled off just as I was sitting and I half fell into my seat. I watched him approach another person as the train pulled off and all I could think to myself was "a stiff necked people."

 That whole time I hadn't mentioned one word about Jesus, even though it would seem that it was the perfect setting and opportunity for witnessing. But I don't feel bad about that, naw. God's word or plan in this man's life cannot be hindered by anyone or anything. What did happen though, is that I was able to see and hear this man very clearly. Some real life struggle, desire, and the logic behind his rationalizing. But whatever is truth or lie about his situation is really trivial in this case. The most important thing for me was that I saw a deep longing to belong to and be blessed of God. No matter how much he knew of the Bible (I do not know), but whatever it is in life he desires, deep down I know that it's a longing for a God who can give him peace. and that's what I seen, Behind His Eyes... something we all long for.

(since I've seen him three time. same story at all different times of the day or night. And whether I believe it at this point or not does not matter. I gave every time I had, simply because I hope one day he realizes that in the midst of his present situation. God has been blessing him.)

WHAT!?

I guess this past week I've really come to appreciate eating again. Last week my wisdom tooth darn near paralyzed me to the point that I had to call and go in to the dentist. (If you know me then you realize how big of a deal that is). Well, of course, the tooth was infected and I've been taking antibiotics for the past seven day now. This tooth is getting yanked out tomorrow! And knowing that I may not be able to eat anything solid for a few days is depressing. It actually makes me want to eat more. With that I reflect: Two weeks ago Tony Evans talked about the infected tooth he had on a cruise that hindered him from enjoying his time and eating. I completely felt his pain as I shook my head chiming in with groans and amens under my breath, haha. The issue arises in the form of problems; the surface problems that we feel the affects of and the actual issues that are the root causes of our felt pain. The sermon was actually about knowing Christ and he illustrated the armor of God in such a clear and profound way...Last night I watched the movie Flight with a roommate of mine, it's a great movie. this morning I watched a matinee movie - Side Effects, also a good movie. The themes of lying and consequences and root causes and the pains that result as the symptoms are intense (If you pay attention and look close enough to see and discern). God speaks, His conviction and words come in ways that I don't always understand and so many times don't even realize. And although I'm thinking deeply and examining things of life, there is a clarity and a slight fog that is subtle and settled. Rather odd I think. Not confusing. It's like shadows that emerge from the fog slowly becoming revealing as you prematurely try to figure the object and form of what is about to emerge. That's some good imagery, right? Like in the movies, hahahaha. So whats the whole point.

Well, I'm just thinking about the pain that drives us to question the, probably already ignored conviction, root causes that makes us respond in truth and have to deal with the consequences. I want to be successful, that is, loving God, speaking truth, loving others, living well and with integrity. Right now I question what the coming days will reveal and result in. We have no idea where God is leading us sometimes and what will become of us. I struggle, I mean, really struggle. I trust God, but not you. Because you refuse to see who I am "in Christ." You judge my symptoms that come from the struggle with sin and don't understand, see, nor recognize the root of salvation in believers. You think Christians, look like, and sound like, [this]. Whatever this means? And unfortunately I began to despise the way you see life, because we're suppose to be the same and I don't understand how you got to that. Aren't you also "in Christ"? Well, then, remember, "he who has eyes to see" see, and "he who has ears to hear" listen. and maybe we'll find ourselves sitting in the same seats. or maybe next to one another. but I doubt it.....Now that's a riddle.

summers third poem

Happily...Ever...After
Are words that are dreamed of
but, Happy Ever? were the words describing her consciousness

Happy Birthdays were more like...
What happened to birthdays?

Wishes turned to Whys
Tears soon dried

Sunshine frightens her
So she never opens the door

(When will she let the light in?)

The Danger of Assumption | Thrive 80

 Below you will find a link to thrive80 which is a site for the millennial generation to grow and think spiritually about the things of life. here is something that I wrote that was published. let me know what you think...Thanks

The Danger of Assumption | Thrive 80

How? is a hard question!

More recently I've been having problems with the question, how? It's not the general "how?". Like asking how to do something, how an event went, or how birds fly? . It's answering the question, "how are you doing?"....

Why is this such a hard question to answer?

Too often we ask this question without considering the gravity of it. The usual response comes in less than a full sentence. Fine, OK, kinda tired, stray looks or groans like "uugh".... and we accept that. Why?

I know that we are busy people who live fast pace lives on the go and rarely take the time to be real and honest because we value the relationship and time with people who we know.... It's like a long run-on sentence that has no punctuation. And that just wouldn't be sufficient either now, would it? I am guilty of such things. But now I am actually bothered by the question how. I shift in thought, emotion, joy, grief and practice. So how do I truthfully explain that. Each day we are asked this question at least 20 times. How can the answer always be the same? It may be that I am over-analyzing this right now because of all the shifting that is currently taking place within myself, but it has caused me to re-asses how I answer such a question in a truthful way. I have a few responses now:

1. I don't want to answer your question.
2. There isn't enough time to answer that question.
3. Right now? or recently?
4. (I take the time to answer honestly)

I've even tried to not ask the question in passing. I want to know more if I do ask it. I think making good use of time is not valuing time but all that happens within the time you have. 2 minutes, 1 hour, 3 days, or whatever you have. I'd rather have a "hi" and a wave than to be asked "how are you doing?" with no intention of actually knowing. Maybe this is why we're such lonely people most of the time. And trust me, a lot of us are. I've heard it said, I've watched it, I've seen it in the eyes of too many now. But still we continue on the same way without expressing the truth; to someone! In a crowd, we're lonely; at home, we're lonely; in church, we're lonely. If that's not you then I am thankful and pleased. But if that's not you then I hope you open your eyes, because there is probably someone around you who is. And still, sometimes even when we can see it we will accept, fine. OK, maybe we'll press, "no really, I'm OK." but see, we don't want to step on any one's toes do we... It's one thing to have just caught one of those blank moments that people have. It's a whole other issue to actually see  and discern that there's a problem but not labor with somebody to see that they get through.... Proverbs 27:5-6 says "Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy."

I could go on and on about this and get into other issues. But what I really want is authenticity, integrity, honesty. I need it. Not just from others, but myself.

Chicago Goes Turkish

As I thought about this post I realized that I did not do anything at this festival but buy a souvenir. I don't really have anything to say except, "I was there." Everyone there was polite, the women were beautiful, there was art, jewlery, history and lots of kids running round. Ienjoyed the half hour I spent walking in a big circle learning more about a people proud to be Turkish. There a but a few pictures below. Please, enjoy.