Heart for Home ft. Shawn Martin, BJ , Valet Del Roy

Prayer of a Minister - Valet Del Roy

(Prayer of a Minister)...A Look into Perspective

July 12th, 2009. That was the day of  my licensing. Many people don't know that. But quite a few do. Even more than that, most people don't understand what that means. When people find out they immediately fall into assumptions that distort their views of who I am, what I do and what my goals are.

July 12th, 2009. In one moment, I assumed, the title and responsibility as "Minister of the Gospel"... Little did I know that I would also, in that moment, fall under the judgement of so many people based off of judgments that were made by people who have absolutely nothing to do with me or my own judgement's. Go ahead and read that again if you need to. This blog won't go anywhere.

July 12th, 2009. I stood before a community of people and leaders who all affirmed that.

Now, Let get this out. Minister(servant, aid, clergy) of(of) the(as in T-h-e) Gospel(Good News). And that "good news".... well, this blog isn't about the "good news", in particular. It's about the prayer of a servant. A servant of people, justice, forgiveness, redemption, reconciliation, faith, hope and love. And what's wrong with that. You see, I'm convinced that you, do not know me; not very well anyway. Nor do you often understand me. Nor do you know what I've been through. Ha! isn't this the claim of so many people? Wow...we are all so different, evolution must be real :-/ Somehow human beings have grown into singular units of space, time and exclusivity that doesn't allow us to connect at the level of the basic human natural occurrences and, and, and... LOL. Give me a break. Humans have been going through the same things for thousands of years. so please excuse me if I want to stay in that section while I'm here too.

Look at it this way. I work at a hotel and I am the, "Valet." I serve people in many different ways. I care for them, their things, I give directions and information. And I do it whether they are a direct guest of my hotel or not. For many people I am their first encounter with the hotel and sometimes to the City of Chicago. But one thing they recognize is that i am like any one of them, from the poorest to some of the richest, I serve them all.

So much could be said. I

July 12th, 2009. This was the day I became a Minister. It is now, December 15th, 2015. I am no less of a Minister. Maybe you still don't know what that means yet.

VISIONS

Visions

In the scheme of modern things

I stand amongst the screams

If you freeze em like a snap shot

Then you would see a dream

They’re reaching after me

To catch me off my guard

If I give ear to one lie

Then the road to destruction starts

Standing on the stage loud speaking

Then behind the scenes

The secrets of internet seekings

We are not the weaklings

Impacting like bee stings

Changing lives

When we arise, from these dreams

Visit my website for more: livingtobeknown.com

Laboring Saints

Laboring Saints

It; comes in those hard times

Because worship starts after midnight

In the struggle of the flesh

Weak; while the spirit is willing

Secrets revealing the innermost longings for the petitions before the throne of Majesty

We cry for the lost

This travesty

Deceived

So we intercede for thee

Christ intercedes for us

 Fighting through the hours of the darkness

Praying unceasingly

As

Laboring Saints

I don't understand Love

A conversation that almost turned argument got me to thinking: why can't we agree that we do not understand "Love." It really does not matter which type of love that may be because it is the essence of "love: that we truly cannot grasp. Before you get ideas about what I'm saying or how you feel, let me add some context to how my conversation with a good friend brought us both to ending it on this idea (not understanding).

This is simple, I stand  behind my point that "love is a choice." My friend says that though love "might" be a choice, love is actually more than that.

Now I could but I will not elaborate much on all that my friend said so I'll try to stick to my own argument, which will probably be sporadic, and I'm sorry if it becomes hard to follow, but I'm kinda thinking on a blank page right now. The truth is that i DO NOT understand love. try to examine with me. maybe a study will come and Ill add all my biblical references. but for now lets just - vent.

God chose to love us

God chose to create us and love us all the same

God is love but love is not God? (God shows us perfect love, we understand it through Him, so when we look at God we should see love even though we don't understand. But, because we don't fully understand love when we look at love we may not see God.)(God = love, but does love = God?)

I can choose to show you love or not to. Even if I felt like I did not chose to love you, if I do not act upon it than is it still love.

Love is not a feeling but with love comes feeling.

If you loved me then why can I chose to reject it. being that

Love is not insane or illogical and Love is not unfair. (we see love through broken lenses and
sometimes through broken hearts and hurt feelings and seemingly shattered dreams we conclude that love is or can be cruel, but if we look to things Biblical, God has been restoring and piecing together the picture as a complete thing. A perfect view that can only be understood by seeing the love of God in Christ through the Holy Spirit.)(and if God is the standard of love and has done it perfectly then love is logical and fair and very sane.)(His thought and ways are beyond ours or our understanding.)

Jesus commanded us to love, doesn't that signify that he wants us to chose to obey him and isn't loving God being obedient to him and it says that there is no fear in love because perfect love cast out fear. (so why are we afraid to love.)

We distort love and use it falsely which in reality is not love at all.

What I do know is that through Christ and the cross and the Resurrection that I came to understand just a little of what it means for God to love us, and having loved me in such a way that I should love the same, although my ability to love perfectly is not possible in this flesh.

Can unbelievers love? how about if they marry under the covenant of God, which is obedient, and never cheat or divorce? have they loved each other or even God?; even if unknowingly?

Being made in Gods image gives us the capacity to do certain things, how great may depend on whether or not you are "in him."

Originally we were made in his image and likeness. with sin we lost the likeness. in Christ we are conformed back to his likeness and able to love like he does, to some capacity. maybe?

So did God have to love us? Some say yes! others say no!
All I know is that God is in control and that He chooses what's happening and if all we know about the beginning is that God created (faring that he chose to) then all I can understand is that he also chose to love his creation; and that in every act, whether we understand or not, he continually is expressing his love which was complete in Christ. And that Is a love I do not understand. (As far as i can understand God, that is.) but as for myself, I did not use to love, i thought I had but truly had not, now I strive to truly love in a way that was only exemplified by my Lord. Choosing to to Love God and others through sacrifice and death to self for the sake of Christ name and the edification of the Body. Pointing you to the love i only know being that GOD LOVES YOU! if only you would chose to receive it and then [chose to follow], and thus love in the same.

but i don't know. If you do, I'd appreciate some help on this. or at least some thoughts. because at the end of the day I have to throw up my hand and confess. Maybe I just don't understand love. But i still think it is a choice.

In this minute

I have too much to say right now. Writing it would be like throwing up on this page. I have some work to do but I'm not far enough to feel secure about the way it is going to end up; though it will get it done. That's number one on the list right now so pray for that. everything want to get in the way of this objective right now, including myself.

A thought tonight

Often times when people write we look for profound words that strectch down the vertical page(s); and I dont know how I feel about doing that, or even trying to do that right now.

There comes a time in a young mans life when he looks around and notices that no one is there in his moment of unsecured life. When he stands and makes a decision for himself. Not selfishly as if others arent on his mind. But one what cannot be altered because of worry in how that affects them. I dont know how to make that clear. I was thinking these thoughts today. I have not made such decisions yet,but truly I am sixty three days away from it. I dread the moment at this point in time. It changes everything, every plan. Yet, my life is the Lord's. I will not be shaken. So I apologize in advance for the pain that will come. On my end and yours if you may feel such emotions. I love you. And I may have said I never would, but I'm thinking that I just might! Let's keep praying on it.

Have You Heard Anything Yet?

  I hear this question everyday, multiple times a day. Reason being, we still don't know whether I am in the clear as an official student or not. I use we because I don't know either. I initially had a meeting to lay out the facts of what my current situation looks like. The reality of options that may have to take course. I am suppose to be hearing from someone in the next few days as week two of this semester will begin. So, have I heard anything yet? Nope. But lets all just act as if I'm staying, I plan too. I heard from a friend that I'm hired for ajob that I interviewed for a week ago. Im hoping I can begin before the end of this week.

  This week was exhausting. Not just for me, I've heard it from many students that the transition back to school has not been smooth at all. Everyone is tired, mentally drained, bodily fatigued. Hopefully this will all pan out very soon. (Shout out to my boy Chris Z., he just walked into my dorm room, he's my neighbor, he got me this job, I wrote the blog called "a canvas for God's glory" on him, go check it out.)

  So the summer, it was great, crazy, long, stretching, hard and all other types of adjectives and verbs. I have things to tell but Ill get to those later. I have one year left in school. 18 units both semesters. I need some backup for this next year (aka prayer). Recovering from the summer mentally, physically and emotionally is a common theme. Pray for friends of mine who are struggling also. Just mention "and those whom D-Roc are connected to also." God knows, the homies and the ladies. I have to stay focused. Past relationships, current ones, those that have begun, they all play a role. God makes all things clear.

Thats the vague update... Gotta get back into the swing of writing.... look forward to words. Bless the Lord, I love you.

last weeks lightbulb

I have a great calling!
And to whom much is given, much is certainly required. You see, I have fared that ministry is a lifestyle that goes beyond commonality. My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides. I get what I am suppose to everyday, because He is just in all His ways. It is very fortunate to be in the will of God. the perfect will of the Almighty. I go through cycles daily. I am limited but am connected to resourceful Master. So why do I fret? many troubles and  challenges come my way; "to the one who overcomes." it says. That's the song they sang. "happy is the man," he wrote by wisdom. Then with his next breath he cried out in agony. all go through cycles, daily. We're not "all" so different. I'm just acknowledging that I need help, encouragement, guidance, wisdom, strength, discipline and much  much more. Sometimes I think ans say, "When will my blessing come?" Well, I woke up, I know and I am known by Him. Then I was reminded by a mom, the very words of scripture tattooed on my chest, Proverbs 30:7-9(look it up)...
My lot has been cast by God. It has fallen on perfect sides.
Pray for me.

Summers Sixth

None are so worthy of such a great testimony
All bear the same
Thou a different examples and measures of grace
The same truth remains
CHRIST Saved Me

Summers Fifth

Yesterdays Trials
I wanna be, filled up until I'm overflowing
But as a kid I almost drowned a few times
When God pours, sometimes I spill on purpose

I want to be strengthened
But I seen a tension cord snap once
So when God stretches me I ease up a bit

I want to be taught
But people who think  they're smart are often stupid
So at times I choose to get distracted

I wanna persevere no quitting
But once I seen a person pass out
So I take breaks to balance me out

I want, but don't get
And I know so I'm saddened
Remembered the book of James
The LORD said, "Stop , just let it happen"

Summers Theme

A common theme over the last five summers; all must run its course. Do you have times like these?

These Summers

These summers make me stop

and acknowledge the One who is

In recognition of honor

and the works of God

How fallen and lowly I am

Save me God

Deliver me from this place of desolation

Do not let me be ashamed

My hand is slack and I am weak

But You, Oh LORD, are my strength

My Song

"Breathe into me Oh LORD,

the Breath of Life"

Let me behold You

Your faithful love and promises

Prosper me

I am bare before you

Clothe me with Your righteousness

The heat of the sun is burdensome

I long for the shadow of You wings

This summer I am a salesman

Give me wisdom

Riches will fade

Give me discipline

Or I will be a failure

You make no failures

And I am Yours

I will stop

And acknowledge the One who is

In recognition of honor and the works of God

I will praise You!

Mens Prayer

This Post alone is dedicated to God. For the record.

By conviction, that I can speak on at a later date, I started a men's prayer group at Moody. Sweeting 222 if you wanna know. I see small numbers every Wed night from 9-10pm. The most there have been at one time was 7. But tonight there were four of us, 4. That's the usual turn out. I can tell you now that one hour is never long enough to pray for us. But tonight was different.

Truthful confession, honest questioning, real conversation, humble and Spirit filled. And for these three men of God I am thankful and grateful, because something was accomplished. And I depend on the Lord for His promise. Because He knows. Even if they/I/we don't.

So why don't more men come. I don't know, but I know what it could be. So I've got work to do.

In the midst of it all!

Every Sunday, or sometime mid-week I like to catch up on the sermons from my home church back in California. I at times take time to meditate on the scripture from which the message came and pray for my home and that God even here in Chicago would work in hearts the same way. So as I listened to what I heard from the Chaplain and Minister Coates, I thought to myself, that I was sure to see something happen soon of the similar portion. (Specifically speaking to the conflict the Chaplain had mentioned that would probably take place the very same day, even though I was a week behind.) You know, the Word of God, a Word from God, is so powerful to transcend our time because of it's timeless aka eternal truth.

On Thursdays I rotate as a teacher for our outreach ministry C.R.I.B.S., for our teens. Our focus lesson for the next few weeks, I decided, will be on Peace.
1. Peace with God
2. Peace of God
3. A Piece with God

So last Thursday I taught that first lesson. Divinely as the world is run, Jamie, our pastor here at Reborn, preached on the peace of God, giving testimony, sharing the gospel, stressing how fighting on our knees in prayer is the one of the greatest battle that we fight. Being in need, dependent on God who is our King and humbled with a holy fear.

How far from understanding we are. That what faith is we lack. We don't have peace, but rather we take on a calmness. I hope you don't miss that. That when you say you're at peace, you really are; that you not really be saying that you're just calm. Peace can be a trip you know, at may actually make you uncomfortable at times. Make me think of  Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." And I can say that I have experienced such a peace that has tangled me to tears and laughter simultaneously with a grief that was painfully numbing(if I could somehow try to paint a picture). I'm just saying that "the heart is most deceitful" Jeremiah 17:9.
Now, as to what I was trying to get to.

In light of what I was saying about peace. It seemed that Sunday was completely set up for such a moment as what was to take place... Right after service about 15-20mins. Just as every week seems to presume we adults linger and talk, some of us clean up and mosey about like so. But the kids, the kids play. The smaller one inside running around, the 8-13 pretty much play games or run around outside. But today was different. We began to set up for kids camp for this week. kinda like the VBS ministry for children. And in the midst of cleaning and moving things lil Jaquan runs in and shouts "Jujuan just got hit by a car!" Now everyone for a moment thought he was joking, and as we all began to follow we then heard the screams. Just like a scene from a movie. a kid hit by a car, alive and in shock, taken in an ambulance. So pray for Jajuan, for recovery and peace and that the testimony of how God spared his life will become real.

He is OK. Two fractured bones in his foot/leg. But in that moment. All the words of peace were tested. and in the midst of the chaos. We prayed. me, jamie, michael david and flavio. We prayed for peace, we praised for life, we thanked for mercy. we surrendered the rest. because life doesn't stop for us. and in the wake of spiritual warfare what we must do is pray. So that moments of testing and trials don't distract us and push us further away from the Lord, but rather draw us ever so closer....Like the seed that falls on stony ground or thorny ground.
 Matthew 13:3-9
“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. ⁴ As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. ⁵ Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. ⁶ But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. ⁷ Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. ⁸ Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! ⁹ Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

PRAYING FOR 'WEST GARFIELD'

you can take the green line or the blue line if you'd like to. head west toward Harlem(green) or O'Hare(blue). Get off at the Pulaski stop; and you will see what i mean. recently, about four weeks ago i moved into an apt out here in this black community just a block away from my church where i serve. we can say that there is definitely a more surreal reality of living than being downtown; but that's the hood for you right. I surely cant begin to tell you of all the things that go on on this side of town, as i'm sure you can easily figur out if you just listen to some rap music. because everything the industry rapper talk about is what is actually happening over here. except that you probably bet that most people dont have industry money. but ill give you some tid bits. 

1.couple weeks ago one of my kids from c.r.i.b.s. gets jumped in front of church standing rt behind me. a first for him, i prayed for him, ans spent that weekend w him.
2.me and a co-laborer in the faith break up a fight between 2 older 'high' ppls, one and older man and the other a woman. by the time we got there he was on top of here ready to lay a heavy hand. we broke it up an talked, then prayed w her.
3.last week three kids were killed and found in an alley. kids meaning, at or under eighteen. 
4.community drug ridden, homelessness and violence on a high scale
5.on the corner of my church a woman tells me i look good, ask if she can ___ my___, and when I tell her "no, you cant, babe" as sincerely as I can. she then asked me for fifty cents, that's $.50 cents. AND I AINT LAUGHIN RIGHT NOW!
6.seen a man ans women strung out on the sidewalk, half past out, snot drippin and slumped over.
7.men and women walk up and down the streets sellin "loose square"(cigarettes) and anything else you need from bootleg movie, music, socks, pants, CTA cards and jewelery.


People ask me if I'm scared walking the streets and living out there. Although tense the first two weeks, I can say that I'm not. Being in this environment is not new to me. Most people cant tell the difference as I walk around other than im a fairly new face. But God has led me there to minister and not be afraid. (reflecting the "Jeremiah 1:8-10" tatted on my left shoulder). I love being there, I love my people. God is always at work and im honored to be included. He will remain faithful. And I depend on my Lord Jesus fully. so do not be discouraged, good things are also happening here. you just pray and see....Pray w me, pray with us, pray for us. Pray and dont cease. 

PRAY FOR 'WEST GARFIELD!!!