Thoughts by the Thousands

I'm not depressed.
I am very much alive.
I recently asked someone if they thought I was saved. "i don't know." was the response. OW! But that's OK. or is it?
I love watching movies; in theatres. matinees are best because they're cheap. It's a wiser way to spend. It includes relaxing & rest.
I like eating, I'm glad that I get to eat free at work. it saves a lot of money.
I need a new phone. I think I'm finally going to get one this week.
Those were just thoughts. Thoughts that took thirty seconds. All day long we think thoughts of things. I would guess thousands. So why do I always think about the day I might die?
I don't want to know how or when or why but I think about it.
Don't think ahead of me. Your questions are of no use right now because I'm jsut saying.
What will the next 6 months bring.
How will I pay for school, when will I get to return.
Will I get married. Will I leave a widow.
How am I going to eat if my teeth keep braking and disappearing. (what woman marries a toothless man at 25? lol)
What do people REALLy think of me. I don't care, I don't trust them.
Why can't I explain this burden.
I know not what God has instore for me. Some say great things. Ha! The fact that you say makes me want to leap in pride, and thus be crushed by God like Job, except without the double portion in the end.
What if I end up homeless. Would I be too prideful or defeated to get/seek/accept help.
I want to disappear. (true thought) but I can't. I love you too much to do it.
I don't want to be in the spotlight. Or a leader. I'd like to be invisable, naw, just less noticed. But my make-up disagrees.

hahahahahah. I'm tired of thinking. I'm tired of talking to you.

If you read this. Don't mention it. This ones not open for discussion. The thoughts keep going. I don't have enough space to write.