Back to a School Grind

I didn't have to work today. I came down to Moody because I have some work to do for a class that I was blessed to get an extension for. I saw some friends and it blessed my heart. I walked a little, that was good too. But I've now spent about five hours in the library today. It feels good. I've got alot to do but I am going to get it all done, and at a quality I haven't had time to produce in pass months and that is exciting for me.

I can not wait to get home and eat. Buying snacks here and there adds up so I gotta let that go, dang. On that note, I'm quite heated right now because I'm pretty sure I left the house this morning with my 7-day cta pass but now I can't find it. Trust me, I don't have it. I'll make some calls to see if I left it at the apt or at my friends pad that I stopped by to take a warm shower at, but if they say "no" then I literally wasted $23 and have to spend another $23. That's no bueno. That's that ____ I don't like!

Doesn't it always seem, that once your broke, you handle and steward money so much better. It's ridiculous. And because I jsut spent 2weeks in Cali I think my work check is going to be like $40. That's OK though, hahaha. God is so good that I know I dont have to be worried. I'll have enough for my bills by the end of the month. Praise the Lord!

Here's to just about being done with my first book, 29 more to go. Ima get this!

I've got work at 7am tomorrow. It's gone be cold in the morning. Amen! Then I'll head back to this library to get a lil more work and research done. I think I like this.

There is alot this is going to try to take place of what I left in this past year that will purposely make me "busy" again. To you I say "NO!" The Lord did not tell me to pick that up. So as a warning for now, please don't ask. I may be off from school this semester, BUT, that does not mean I have more time or money.

So soon I'll be starting a campaign  again to raise money for the next school year, not just semester. that's a $12 - $15,000 fundraising endeavor. I'm trusting God in how this all happens over the next seven months.

January and Febuary are the slowest months in a fiscal year. I might need to get another part time job.

Keep me in your prayers as things quickly progress and develope for me as I seek the wisdom, discernment and instructions of God. I won't make it without help. So until next time. Grace and peace in Christ Jesus.

I Have a Problem!

Yesterday, I spent a great amount of time walking from room to room, looking up, down and through the very measures of my apartment. I sprayed, wiped, swept and furnished the basic areas of each room with what I could afford within my small budget. I looked over my lease agreement again, and thought about how I need to hurry up and get these utilities switched to my name so I could get some hot water round this piece(lol). This is my place, I have two roommates, I have a job, I pay my own everything, we'll have no TV and no internet from now through August. I like that idea. God is so good to me. I am in listening mode right now and I am ready for my Lord to instruct me.

This past Fall semester of school was difficult. The worst I've had since I left home. Today marks the third year of that date, January 5th, 2010. I'm not going back to school this up and coming semester. I am currently on an intermission (break) status with high anticipation to get back to school to finish off my last year beginning again next Fall. But, right now, let me stop.

I have a problem. An internal conflict of the will. No, I am not speaking of sin, although that is a reality for all of us. The problem is that I am free. Completely free in Christ. I have been completely freed by Christ. I could fill in this blank white page with worries, anxieties, uncertainties and unsurities, be that of money, relationships, plans and aspiration, ministry, safety, failure or success. I can't though; because I'm free.

I rest at a standstill. Things are simple and quiet. "I'm actually taking a break." I've never done this before. I don't know what to do because I want to do so much. I should't though, I can't, I won't. God said so. Otherwise I defeat the purpose of all of this. I have a problem.

I can do this. always could have. Never have... Do you understand my issue. I need you Lord! Help me! Give me wisdom and discernment! Shape me! You called me, I want to be there, guide me to that place and be glorified in it! This has always been my prayer since I was eleven.

This is continuing. And this time, since I stepped of that plane and walked outside into 19 degrees of cold, it truly began. Another landmark.

I set a stone here to be a reminder. Today! The Lord has done a great thing, he is faithful and true, he will be true to his promise.

Pray for me as you may not know what this means. All that I have is His conviction, His Word. I will go, he will lead,they will see. To God be the glory.

I have a problem. I am free. And the Lord God Almighty is my Master.

WOW!

God Did It!

Isaiah 55...Is a great read. Last night, God restored my joy. Gave me peace. It was instantly and I didn't even notice it. "Burdens down Lord, Burdens down Lord, Since I laaid, my burdens down"

God did it. Can do it. Will do it. Hold on!

A thought tonight

Often times when people write we look for profound words that strectch down the vertical page(s); and I dont know how I feel about doing that, or even trying to do that right now.

There comes a time in a young mans life when he looks around and notices that no one is there in his moment of unsecured life. When he stands and makes a decision for himself. Not selfishly as if others arent on his mind. But one what cannot be altered because of worry in how that affects them. I dont know how to make that clear. I was thinking these thoughts today. I have not made such decisions yet,but truly I am sixty three days away from it. I dread the moment at this point in time. It changes everything, every plan. Yet, my life is the Lord's. I will not be shaken. So I apologize in advance for the pain that will come. On my end and yours if you may feel such emotions. I love you. And I may have said I never would, but I'm thinking that I just might! Let's keep praying on it.

Two Verses

18 For the Lord is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. “I am the Lord,” he says, “and there is no other.19 I publicly proclaim bold promises. I do not whisper obscurities in some dark corner. I would not have told the people of Israel to seek me if I could not be found. I, the Lord, speak only what is true and declare only what is right.
Isaiah 45:18-19 (NLT)


I read this a few times and I still don't feel as if I've had a reaction to it. All I feel is an empty pit in my stomach. I do see such encouragement in this. How did you react when you read this? I don't think my emotions know what to do with this. Gonna meditate on this until it clicks! Pray for it.

Don't Look at Me!

I've avoided posting something for a good amount of time now. I'd tell you why but I'm not ready to. All I can say is that I have not wanted to be seen. In any way.

Fortunately, people have been praying. Because God surely intervened. Instead of being found out, or called out by someone elses misunderstanding, misconception or degree of misunderstood skepticism, God brought me again to a place of surrender. So I've sought out help. God is good.

So keep praying. Ill do my job to inform.

Peace be unto you! Trust, if it isn't, it can be.

Have You Heard Anything Yet?

  I hear this question everyday, multiple times a day. Reason being, we still don't know whether I am in the clear as an official student or not. I use we because I don't know either. I initially had a meeting to lay out the facts of what my current situation looks like. The reality of options that may have to take course. I am suppose to be hearing from someone in the next few days as week two of this semester will begin. So, have I heard anything yet? Nope. But lets all just act as if I'm staying, I plan too. I heard from a friend that I'm hired for ajob that I interviewed for a week ago. Im hoping I can begin before the end of this week.

  This week was exhausting. Not just for me, I've heard it from many students that the transition back to school has not been smooth at all. Everyone is tired, mentally drained, bodily fatigued. Hopefully this will all pan out very soon. (Shout out to my boy Chris Z., he just walked into my dorm room, he's my neighbor, he got me this job, I wrote the blog called "a canvas for God's glory" on him, go check it out.)

  So the summer, it was great, crazy, long, stretching, hard and all other types of adjectives and verbs. I have things to tell but Ill get to those later. I have one year left in school. 18 units both semesters. I need some backup for this next year (aka prayer). Recovering from the summer mentally, physically and emotionally is a common theme. Pray for friends of mine who are struggling also. Just mention "and those whom D-Roc are connected to also." God knows, the homies and the ladies. I have to stay focused. Past relationships, current ones, those that have begun, they all play a role. God makes all things clear.

Thats the vague update... Gotta get back into the swing of writing.... look forward to words. Bless the Lord, I love you.