Question 3. (All is fair in Love?)
Lots of people asked me "what's this suppose to mean?"
Some said "NO! somebody's gonna get hurt either way"
Some said "just because you think its love doesn't give people the right to act how they want"
This is one of those questions that made me laugh. No offense to anyone. But the saying, "all is fair in love(and war), is reference to the idea that when it comes to love, you go as far as you need to to win...were not talking about fornication and lying, being deceitful and whatnot. So let me use two a few examples to help you out. Take "the notebook", in the end, male from past takes girl from guy in present. Fair? you decide. Or, how about a favorite, "500 days of Summer", girl chooses no strings attached approach with the guy "in love" with her. Then, when he gets attached she leaves, finds the right man, invites boy to the wedding party thing; and it seems that he's left sad and lonely but she's in love and married and happy. Fair? you decide. Or my favorite movie ever, "HITCH", now tell me these men are wrong for getting help! I dare you! But women got mad that men hired someone to help them in their pursuit? Sounds odd to me. But hey, don't take any chances for love. That would not be fair? or is it? I mean, you ARE individuals. You are NOT married.
Question 4. (Leaving one relationship to be with another)
Depending on the situation, No...may said
That's the persons choice...said others
Yes. How can someone just up and leave?
Considering the fact that you don't have all the info, might not know the situation, and that a person can choose to do things without explanation; I think the expectations we have aren't far fetched, though I do think that when those expectations aren't in some way honored that we should not be so disappointed. We want to have some control, we want to know all the whys and hows for the most part if we can right? We want things to make some reasonable sense in our own minds. And if it happened that way it would suck, it would hurt, c'mon now keep it real, i know. Still, that person IS an individual. They are NOT married. So, "come what may", I say. Don't let it take your life away.
Question 5. (oppressive, possessive, cooperative)
"Definitely possessive" hahaha
"I don't know, but oppressive sounds soo baaaad."
"I think most relationships are good. at least the ones I've seen"
The current state. Ummm, well, what we do know is that the divorce rate is the highest ever, but this isn't about marriage. You're absolutely right, but that relationship does start somewhere right. OK then. So what does an oppressive relationship look like? It may be the type that affects either persons life where their personality and character changes to something they truly are not. Sometimes the "relationship" affects others in a way that friends or family, work, school or whatever ends up being sacrificed at the expense of the particular "relationship." Basically in truth the relationship just is not healthy.
A Possessive relationship is the "my girl", "my boy" type deal. The "I belong to you/ you to me type thinking" As if this person really does. Again, as Christians, looking at this as God might; why do we place "so much" value "in" this person to the point that they no longer stand next to other valued things but instead supersede them. The attachment that happens is not likely how God intends, if it is really examined, the intimacy, the so called "right to", hold, touch, talk to, think about this person in a way that you act towards or allow another to act towards you; because you two are a "couple now". Or maybe you ARE just two individuals. That are NOT married and should not act as such.
A Cooperative relationship is one that runs like freeway lanes... same direction, side by side, sometimes it merges but then separates again, has a place to pull over for rest or fixing and has exits that allow cars to get off or join...they parallel. A cooperative relationship must remain in there individual state "working together/ with one another". What it's not is a joining or crossing of paths like many believe it to be. They cooperate; not consummate!
Question 6. (describing a relationship status)
What does "Being" mean?
Just Together? I don't like the way that sounds.
I think courting is the best method, it's biblical.
Dating for sure. What courting doesn't sound right.
Because I cannot fully elaborate without going into speech mode, I'll do my best to make this section quick and to the point.
Let's talk about BEING: Me being me, you being you, us being us. Its a good things to BE. We can BE together without losing ourselves. Not basing the relationship on what you "do" or only who you are together but simply that you want to, like to, can BE; and choose to "BE".
What if you're JUST TOGETHER: Much does not differ from being. You acknowledge that you two have chosen to have a relationship with one another; just as all people do. You've stayed far from labels that begin to mold that relationship to an idea too commonly known to be something that is pure and without outside influence as much as possible. They do not want to be defined by some unclear label that is not unique to themselves. Rather, they are alright with simply being, JUST TOGETHER.
If you're going to call yourself to be COURTING. Understand that this is a biblical principal from the Word of God, not ancient culture. Culture changes but God does not; nor does His Word. Commitment to the end goal, the preparation, once ready and able. Involves family, community, and accountability; TIME. Not necessarily a formal structure, but there is a way that a Man must go about pursuing a woman and guiding the relationship they are going to have. With guidance as he and she maintain what is already in place and have mutually agreed to. This way if things are not as anticipated, there is a healthy deciding and a healthy breaking of what is being pursued without feeling damaged. It is wise, steady and clear and should not be taken so lightly; likewise it should not carry the burden of force or complete obligation as if it cannot be broken.
Last and least of all. DATING. What is dating anyway? Getting to know someone? Naw...you can do that anyway...Preparing for marriage? Not really, it's too fluid for that... Finding out if things will work out? UUhhgg, that's a horrible way to find out. You should probably know first....Or is it just the only known and most common term we have for two people in a "relationship"? Well if that's the way the majority do it right? Wrong! Christians are suppose to be the minority. Do things different. Just because it's "Christian Dating" doesn't make it any better, nor any different. We can't even come to common definition of the word. People get confused by it. Coffee date, friend date, man date(ridiculous), intimate dating, dating around. COME, ON, PEOPLE! What's this really all about? Dating is a form of exchange, money for time, time for emotion, emotion for care... etc... etc... etc... sometimes it's heavier than thought, sometimes it's not...The word itself can generate different thought and emotions in people...A guy wants to take you on a date(nothing to serious), the girl hears the word date and is years ahead thinking about what marriage might be like... See the problem; And vice verse... Plus , the word dating also can come with expectation, a form or ideal type of feelings, passions, disgust maybe. And it often leads to exclusivity of the two who are dating. A recipe for disaster, because we all know, two people aren't THAT strong. HA! dating. I personally hate the word for all that it is and means...(it's become personal; I refuse to do it)....So the question is? Is there a better way? Probably. What do we call it? You decide? How do we do it? Unmarried relationships, that is?
according to the majority answers on this survey...this is just an example....sounds like
"its not wrong for a guy to pursue a girl in a relationship, because she's committed, and no, all is not fair in love, although it would not be wrong if that person left the relationship to be with another, the state of the relationship is possessive anyway, yea, and they're only dating!"
How does that sound to you...try it for what you chose and see how that sounds. So what's the right answers then.
Glad you asked!
I don't fully know. But it is not and cannot be the way it's been going. I know it'll never get perfect. But what is the Body for? and I mean the Body of Christ! I'm asking for Your help. When will men be men? Because I want to be a better man. When will women stop falling for crap. Probably when men start being men. If we're single, we're all in unmarried relationships, and I think we need to handle them better, we need some guidance. There's too much on the line. We're talking about my Life! I ain't gone play with it, you shouldn't either. Learn to love each other, I mean really love one another, molding and sharpening each other. I can't even do that because most exclusive has replaced community. The entitlement we feel, what means we care, how long until we are "in love" and all that jazz. We've got to be more careful. God will make us really stand out if we really are and want to be different. The choice is up to us. Let's continue to explore these things.
THANK YOU FOR READING. I HOPE TO LEARN FROM YOU AND POST MORE. EXPLORE MORE... sorry if it was long...I get excited sometimes..hahah...so until the next post...Live To Be Known...Live To Make Christ Known!
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