In this minute

I have too much to say right now. Writing it would be like throwing up on this page. I have some work to do but I'm not far enough to feel secure about the way it is going to end up; though it will get it done. That's number one on the list right now so pray for that. everything want to get in the way of this objective right now, including myself.

My Passenger Seat: goodbye and hello...

Look,
I know a good woman when I see one
She gone ride with her man playin chicken with a cliff
As long as im gassin the clutch she aint gone jump ship
Because she trust that I'm gone win this match
It being my duty to keep her safe and alive

Even if she doubted she might close her eyes
Hold on to the handle and get ready for the dive
She loves me enough to not let me die alone

And that's why you've always been my woman!

But,
I'm not your man, though I let you hold my keys of access
You keep hitch-hiking
I'll be damned to see somebody else in my driver seat though
I still have the spare
In case you didn't notice, the garage is empty
Plenty gas in my vehicle, I'm on the road shifting

I Love You; A good woman I still see
I know of a few more out there
a few of them know me
I figured, I'd keep the doors locked till you are ready to get in
Instead, it's unlocked and I cleared the seat for someone else to sit in

I'm driving through this desert in the world of this country
A road trip for me
Until I see that good woman that I know
In my passenger seat

Back to a School Grind

I didn't have to work today. I came down to Moody because I have some work to do for a class that I was blessed to get an extension for. I saw some friends and it blessed my heart. I walked a little, that was good too. But I've now spent about five hours in the library today. It feels good. I've got alot to do but I am going to get it all done, and at a quality I haven't had time to produce in pass months and that is exciting for me.

I can not wait to get home and eat. Buying snacks here and there adds up so I gotta let that go, dang. On that note, I'm quite heated right now because I'm pretty sure I left the house this morning with my 7-day cta pass but now I can't find it. Trust me, I don't have it. I'll make some calls to see if I left it at the apt or at my friends pad that I stopped by to take a warm shower at, but if they say "no" then I literally wasted $23 and have to spend another $23. That's no bueno. That's that ____ I don't like!

Doesn't it always seem, that once your broke, you handle and steward money so much better. It's ridiculous. And because I jsut spent 2weeks in Cali I think my work check is going to be like $40. That's OK though, hahaha. God is so good that I know I dont have to be worried. I'll have enough for my bills by the end of the month. Praise the Lord!

Here's to just about being done with my first book, 29 more to go. Ima get this!

I've got work at 7am tomorrow. It's gone be cold in the morning. Amen! Then I'll head back to this library to get a lil more work and research done. I think I like this.

There is alot this is going to try to take place of what I left in this past year that will purposely make me "busy" again. To you I say "NO!" The Lord did not tell me to pick that up. So as a warning for now, please don't ask. I may be off from school this semester, BUT, that does not mean I have more time or money.

So soon I'll be starting a campaign  again to raise money for the next school year, not just semester. that's a $12 - $15,000 fundraising endeavor. I'm trusting God in how this all happens over the next seven months.

January and Febuary are the slowest months in a fiscal year. I might need to get another part time job.

Keep me in your prayers as things quickly progress and develope for me as I seek the wisdom, discernment and instructions of God. I won't make it without help. So until next time. Grace and peace in Christ Jesus.

I Have a Problem!

Yesterday, I spent a great amount of time walking from room to room, looking up, down and through the very measures of my apartment. I sprayed, wiped, swept and furnished the basic areas of each room with what I could afford within my small budget. I looked over my lease agreement again, and thought about how I need to hurry up and get these utilities switched to my name so I could get some hot water round this piece(lol). This is my place, I have two roommates, I have a job, I pay my own everything, we'll have no TV and no internet from now through August. I like that idea. God is so good to me. I am in listening mode right now and I am ready for my Lord to instruct me.

This past Fall semester of school was difficult. The worst I've had since I left home. Today marks the third year of that date, January 5th, 2010. I'm not going back to school this up and coming semester. I am currently on an intermission (break) status with high anticipation to get back to school to finish off my last year beginning again next Fall. But, right now, let me stop.

I have a problem. An internal conflict of the will. No, I am not speaking of sin, although that is a reality for all of us. The problem is that I am free. Completely free in Christ. I have been completely freed by Christ. I could fill in this blank white page with worries, anxieties, uncertainties and unsurities, be that of money, relationships, plans and aspiration, ministry, safety, failure or success. I can't though; because I'm free.

I rest at a standstill. Things are simple and quiet. "I'm actually taking a break." I've never done this before. I don't know what to do because I want to do so much. I should't though, I can't, I won't. God said so. Otherwise I defeat the purpose of all of this. I have a problem.

I can do this. always could have. Never have... Do you understand my issue. I need you Lord! Help me! Give me wisdom and discernment! Shape me! You called me, I want to be there, guide me to that place and be glorified in it! This has always been my prayer since I was eleven.

This is continuing. And this time, since I stepped of that plane and walked outside into 19 degrees of cold, it truly began. Another landmark.

I set a stone here to be a reminder. Today! The Lord has done a great thing, he is faithful and true, he will be true to his promise.

Pray for me as you may not know what this means. All that I have is His conviction, His Word. I will go, he will lead,they will see. To God be the glory.

I have a problem. I am free. And the Lord God Almighty is my Master.

WOW!